Better than I Know Myself
by Neko Hoshi Hime Okami
Summary: Years had passed since they lost someone special. They wanted to close the wounds he left behind but how? Eventual ItaxNaru
1. Chapter 1

Better Than I know Myself

**I so blame Adam Lambert for the inspiration for this. I don't own Naruto, which I wish I did.**

Chapter 1

His lips pursed at the thought, his mind only focusing on that one thing. In front of him was someone that he practically grew up with. Since his brother's suicide which rocked the family, which was unknown as to why his only sibling would do something like that, he felt close to the only person that his brother was friends with. Since that time that seemed so dark, he had this short – at the time – blond that enjoyed doing things that either got him in trouble or made him feel not normal.

Wanting to say something to him, wanting to talk to him so the silence would end, he stared at the sapphire eyes that were focused on him. It hurt to not get the words out. He just wanted to say the words that were so important to him that they just wouldn't come. Lowering his gaze to the dirt that covered the tan hands, making him realize that he interrupted the blond's time, but it didn't seem important.

"What do you want to talk to me about Itachi-san?" His voice was smooth, calm and collected even if it held a hint of curiosity in them. Tilting his head, feeling the brush of his bangs, he started to wipe his hands on his pants but stopped when he saw the Uchiha turn his gaze back up.

"What did Sasuke say to you the day before he killed himself?" His words almost sounded emotionless but it hurt to even think of the only person that brightened his day's death. Biting his lip to keep his other questions silent, he wanted to hear what the blond had to say.

Nodding and continuing to clean his hands, he started to turn his back to the man that was wanting information that was so important that he kept secret but also wanted to get it out. He wasn't the type of person that would keep secrets but this was the only thing that he held close and away from others. It was the last wish of his best friend so he had to do it or he might not give him a proper departing. "Let's go inside and I'll serve you something to drink."

"Tea." Itachi answered since it was the only thing he would drink besides lemonade and water. Following the blond that was almost as tall as he was, his gaze turned to the roses that were a shade of blue, possibly a remembrance for his lost brother.

Stepping inside and slipping his flip flops off, the blue-eyed man stepped into the kitchen to get what the Uchiha wanted. As he set the water down on the hot plate, waiting for it to boil, he carried himself back out to sit across from the man that he got to know better because of Sasuke's suicide.

"What did he say?" This time Naruto could hear the hurt that was lingering in the usually calm voice. It was weird hearing it come from none other than Uchiha Itachi but he understands how he was hurting. Tilting his head and resting it on the palm of his hand, he wanted to smile so badly. He couldn't though.

"He was scared of doing it. He talked to me about so much stuff that it jumbled inside my head so bad that it's hard to organize it all. He said something about it but I pushed it off as one of those stupid ass jokes that he tried to pull. I shouldn't have though. He talked about a lot of things that day." Naruto said with his voice holding confidence at first but started to fall softer. He didn't have his best friend anymore because of what he did.

"What else?"

Letting his lips part as he looked for the words to answer the question that was directed to him, he sighed. "He said that he loved you a lot, glad that he had you as a brother. He was proud of so many things that he did. The only thing he was really proud of was being your brother. He would probably give up the world just to see you smile once more."

It reminded Itachi that he stopped that one gesture of emotion. Ever since he heard the news of his brother's felo-de-se he didn't have the urge to smile. He just wanted answers that would tell him why his brother would do something like that. It made everyone worry about him because of it but he couldn't even do it. It just made him picture Sasuke and he would just break down. "That doesn't explain why he would do something like that?"

Nodding and bowing his head slightly, his mind filling with everything that his best friend told him over the years, the blond rose to check on the water. Grabbing a mug that Sasuke used to enjoy using, he poured a cup of tea for the only brother of his best friend.

He knew a lot of things that the rest of the Uchiha didn't know. He knew that his best friend wanted to escape the shadow of the Uchiha so he could do what he wanted to do without his father denying him of anything.

Setting the cup down, seeing a budge of a smile that fell into a line once more, Naruto sighed. "He wouldn't be happy if he saw you now."

"He wouldn't be happy with a lot of things that were happening now. Besides my depression, the entire family is still acting like zombies." Itachi stated with his voice almost breaking. He wanted to cry out once more at the thoughts of his brother's suicide. He still wanted to understand why he would do something like that to him. "When did he start cutting?"

That was definitely a tender subject for the Namikaze. Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, his thoughts turned to the subject that was brought up. His mind flashed the images of the scars that would litter his friend's upper arm so he could hide them so easily in the summer, making his breath hitch.

"When did he Naruto?"

"Around eighth grade. He was discovering a lot about himself during that time and he fell into a depression a few times because of it," the blond haired man started and let his eyes open to stare at the ceiling. "He thought it was the best way to get his frustrations and depression out. He thought it was the perfect thing to use for that reason. I hated seeing that on his arms. I've told him a lot of times that he should get him."

Knowing his brother, he would use an excuse from doing so. It was almost like Sasuke to do something like that when he needed someone to let his frustrations out to. Letting his own ebony eyes fall with his glasses coming off his face and setting on the table, he ran a hand across his face. He wished that he was there for his brother more then when he was. "Otouto-san."

"He stopped near the end of that grade. Ninth grade was a different story." Naruto continued but silenced himself as the thoughts of his freshman year filled his mind. He didn't want to remember it, knowing that he could have reached out for his brother like figure so he could still be with them today.

"Tell me." That urge to demand for the other facts that inevitably led to his sibling's suicide, he opened his eyes to stare at the blurring figure of the blond. Taking his hands around the cup and sipping it, he stared at the liquid that rested in it.

Nodding, knowing that he was ready to bawl out at the thought of his friend's death, he lowered his gaze to the table. "It was after or before final exams for the first semester, I can't really remember. I saw something on his arm during gym and demanded what it was. He didn't allow me so I grabbed his wrist and forced him to show me. It was nasty seeing those marks on his body again."

Listening to the breathing that was wavering at the threat of tears, Itachi looked up at the tanned man that was in his brother's class. He wasn't sure how many years it's been since he last saw his brother alive.

"He said it was nothing, the normal response of something you get caught doing. Finally, I pieced it together. He was doing it because he was frustrated with the exams or upcoming exams. Whatever. And of course he was discovering who he was again."

"Why? Why would he do that? That doesn't even sound like the otouto-san I watched grow up." Itachi muttered to himself, but Naruto heard every word of it. Running a hand across his face, feeling the shakiness of them, he knew what was coming next. The almost endless tears that ended in sobs.

"I don't know. I wish I could ask him but I can't. We can't ask him why he did what he did. Why he did what he thought was the right thing to do. We can't do that." Naruto reminded even if it was instilled in everyone's mind. He still had so many questions that desperately needed answers but that'll never happen.

Taking a breath, wanting to turn back time just so he could help his sibling out, but it wasn't possible. It hurt to even think that he couldn't do that. "What else is there?"

Swallowing, wishing he had something to drink so he could keep down the burning in his throat, knowing that it was caused by tears, Naruto rested his hands on his lap, squeezing his pants legs. "Sasuke wanted me to give you something when I thought it was the right time. As he put it, when everyone wasn't crying anymore."

"But! But oka-san is still crying her eyes out because of the fact she had to bury her musuko before she was laid to rest! Did he ever think of that?" Itachi's voice raised, telling him that he was nearing the point of no return on his tears. Rubbing at his eyes, hoping to keep them at bay longer, he felt them fall. It was no use.

Rising from his seat, the azure eyed man went into his room, grabbing the book that his friend wanted to give his brother when he thought it was ready. It made him remember his ebony haired friend more clearly, as if there was no haze that's blocking his vision.

Hearing the dull thud that made him look, wiping at the tears, Itachi started at the leather bound book that had Sasuke's handwriting on it. Staring at it, wanting to touch it so he knew what his brother was wanting to convey to him through paper, he watched as it was pushed to him. "Have you read it?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied with words and a nod. Thinking back at the words that were echoing emotion, he bit his lip. He had no one to look up to when it came time of being weak. He missed the wrestling that they did. He missed the fights that were on purpose to make everyone want to scream at them for being idiots – even when it was over something stupid.

Letting his water-covered hand rub across the surface of the book, staring at the words that were clearly written on it: Sasu's Diary. Looking up at the blond that was holding onto it so long, wanting to ask him what was in it, but he held that desire back. "Anything I should brace myself for?"

That question didn't surprise him. It was Itachi after all, the valedictorian of his graduating class. Closing his eyes and letting his face rest in his hands, he stared at the darkness of his mind. With each picture that raced through his mind, he wanted to say what he wanted to say more and more.

"What was it that Sasuke wanted to be told?" Itachi inquired and reached to open it so he could start reading it but was stopped by a tan hand.

"The reason behind his suicide was because he was gay." Naruto babbled as he fought the tears that were now spilling from his eyes. Shaking his head and frowning, he took a deep breath. "Sasuke was afraid that someone in the family would find out that he was gay. He kept it a secret until someone at school found out. They used it against him. That had to be the reason behind his suicide Itachi, it just has to be."

***sighs and tries to stop crying* I know that this is a tough topic especially since it is happening. It just popped into my head when I was listening to Adam Lambert's new single Better Than I Know Myself. So sorry for the depressing theme for this but I wanted to write it. Please review. I'll even make a special oneshot for the hundredth reviewer if it gets up that high.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

He just wanted to run out the door, get on the train, get back home so he could read what was hidden from him until now. He didn't do that though. He stayed with Naruto, trying to calm the blond down because he was having a harder time to get use to the fact that Sasuke was gone.

"_The reason behind his suicide was because he was gay."_

When did his only sibling come out to Naruto? Pursing his lips at the thought, his arms wrapping around the blond's torso, feeling the shaking that was coming from the sob. He wanted to say that everything was going to be all-right but it would never be. He didn't have his brother and Naruto didn't have his best friend.

"Itachi-san I hate that guy that did it to him." Naruto sobbed as he wiped at his red eyes. He wanted to cause harm to the person that forced his friend into the position he was in. He wanted to get answers why someone would drive someone to the point of wanting to be six feet in the ground. "I hate him so much for doing that."

Nodding, unable to say something to him, to comfort him since he had that same hatred boiling in his blood. He wanted to do the same thing and yet he hated violence. Was this the only thing that was caused by his brother's death? Him wanting to cause harm to someone that he didn't even know.

Hearing something vibrate in someone's pocket – it wasn't him since he didn't feel anything – and looked at the sapphire eyes that were incased in red. Loosening the grip, and backing a few step away to give his friend privacy, he watched him fish it out of his pocket and flip it open.

Biting his lip, reading what was on it, seeing that his parents couldn't make it for dinner, he sighed. He was looking forward to it so he could get his mind off this tender subject, even if it was for only a little bit. Taking a shaky breath through his nose, one of the calming techniques his mother taught him when they were still dealing with Sasuke's death, he closed the phone after answering them. "You can stay a little longer if you wanted to."

Perking up with a blink, his hand reaching for the glasses that he set aside earlier, setting them on his face so he could see the blond clearly. "Didn't you have company coming?" It was a simple guess since Naruto was acting like he was defeated once more.

"Did. Oka-san and Oto-san cancelled the plans because something came up. They didn't say what though."

Nodding and sitting back down in the chair he was previously in, his hands touched the rough cover of the book that was the only lifeline he had to his deceased sibling. Looking at the eyes of his friend, seeing them almost hazy from defeat and not understanding it all, Itachi nodded once more.

It had to be something important, at least that's what Naruto hoped. Getting up and setting his phone back in his pocket, he walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. Maybe then he'll get the taste of tears out of his mouth and the after taste of everything else that was going on.

Flipping open the cover, the lone Uchiha stared at the cover page that was decorated in little felines and other things that were part of his brother's favorite things to do. That urge to throw it open to a random page, to see if it provided himself some answer for why his brother would do something like that, he shook his head. He wasn't going to do that. Not until he got home.

Walking back into the area where his friend was – and a reminder of who he lost – he sighed. Sitting down, Naruto started to play with the cup that held some tea since everything else didn't seem like the type of drink that would rid him of this taste. Staring at the cover that was in front of him, only upside down, a small sigh escaped the tan man. "Sasuke enjoyed going to those cat cafes after-school. He usually picked out the ones that didn't want to be petted or mess with for the day but after he was done with them, they would be calm as can be."

His brother did have a touch to calm animals. It had to be an Uchiha thing since his parents said they were from a long line of farmers when there was still plenty of land. He just wished that he could do that, then maybe he could get his mind off this haunting memory.

Even thinking of his brother with all those animals made his eyes tear up. Reaching under the corrective lenses, he tried to get rid of them. Biting his lip with a whimper, he reached and squeezed the mug that was in front of him. Removing his hand, looking at the blond in front of him, he let go of his lip and downed the rest of the tea. "Any particular one?"

Shaking his head, Naruto let his gaze fall to the cup that was in front of him. He didn't have his best friend around to pull jokes on. He didn't have anyone to talk to like how he used to when he had Sasuke around. "Teme was afraid of a lot of things. He was afraid of people finding out, like I said but it made him scared beyond anything else . . ."

Hearing the usually confident voice thick with pain, Itachi looked at the man in front of him. He didn't want to see anyone hurting because of this but it was a hard thing to do. He couldn't rewire him so he could feel better. He wasn't a damn robot that was emotionless. "What else?"

"He was scared – practically scared shitless – that your oto would find out about it and disown him. He's read stories about people getting kicked out because they were gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, everything." The words felt like a sword or a knife cutting into him as remembered his friend telling him his woes.

Closing his eyes, he rose from where he sat and put the mug in the sink and turning the facet on so water can be poured down into it. Shutting it off, he walked back into the room and grabbed the book, his gaze turning to the clock that was nestled on a wall. "I'm sorry Namikaze-san but I have to go."

Nodding, Naruto rose from his seat and grasped the man in a hug. He just wanted to keep the only man that was really close to Sasuke close to him or he might lose his friend again. He didn't want that. He was scared that Sasuke would eventually disappear from his mind one of these days. "Have a safe trip, please."

"I will. Thank you for having me over." Itachi replied, his body feeling the constricting grasp from the blond loosening until it was off. Walking away, the book tucked under his arm tenderly, as if he was afraid that it would bruise if he held it too hard. Looking back as he slipped his shoes on, staring at the sapphire eyes that were still crying on the inside, he forced a smile on his lips. "Maybe you should come over sometime. It might help a little."

"Thank you for the invitation but it'll have to wait. I have things I need to do at the garden." Naruto stated, his smile stretching across his face lightly. Once the door closed though, it fell into an emotionless line that was hard to get rid of. He wanted it to be gone so he could be normal again. He wanted to pull jokes on people because it would be what his friend would want him to.

Itachi walked down the street, even after the train ride back to the part of Tokyo he was part of. Feeling a shiver race through his body, his gaze turning up from his feet to stare at the hallow grounds that were before him. It was where his ancestors rested until it came time for Oban, then he would be walking among spirits. At least that's what he thought when he was growing up.

Now at the age of twenty-six, his mind still thought that. Now it was all the time instead of when it was time for letting your deceased family members back in the house. Stepping onto the ground, another shiver racing through his body, he continued to the grave he desired to be at. He never enjoyed being in cemeteries because something about them scared him, making him want to rush what he needed to do.

Once he found where he needed to be at, his gaze drifted down at the tombstone that was a good size, fit for his brother.

_Here lies Uchiha Sasuke Beloved otouto, musuko, oi, magomusko. XXXX-XXXX_

At the tender age of sixteen, he killed himself because what was going on. Now Itachi knew what was going on so he wasn't in the shadow anymore. Dropping to his knees, his hand pushed the cover back, along with the cover page that read the same as the hard cover. Staring at the first entry that was in it, ignoring the date since he remembered giving this to his sibling for his birthday. It just looked more worn then before.

_Dear Diary, even if I don't know if I should call you this._

_I'm fourteen and in eighth grade. I got so much going on that it isn't funny. I guess I can even use you as a stress reliever, well at least one of them. The only person that knows about my cutting is Dobe, or Naruto. He's not fond of it because he's afraid that I might cut a major vein and bleed to death._

_I won't do that though. I make sure that they're shallow enough that they wouldn't do that. I don't want oka-san noticing them or oto-san since it seemed like they interrogate you for a good while until you actually cave into their demands._

It was for the best, Itachi added silently as he skimmed over what he read over already. Turning his attention to the headstone that indicated that his brother was there, he sighed. He wanted to feel his brother there for the first time in ten years. He didn't even think that it's been a decade yet but it has.

Looking down to continue reading, Itachi closed his lips in some hope that it would keep a whine or any other noise he would make if it hurt too much while he read this.

_Naruto's pretty much trying to get me out of this slump but it's hard to do. I smile – well try – but it hurts to even do that. I don't want to hurt his feelings because when that happens, he runs his mouth by accident. I don't want him telling anyone that I'm cutting myself because they'll find an adult or someone they trust and squeal. I don't want people checking my entire body over for cuts that I caused to myself._

_But that's one of the issues I'm dealing with. The other one is about how I feel. I've noticed a lot of things about myself over the past few weeks, and into the months really. I've felt different. I don't really see girls the same way like how I used to._

_Guys, that's a different story. I've noticed them more then anything else. I especially notice their asses. Something about them just make me want to burst or find someone to bed with. I don't know why but I feel like I'm not straight._

It only confirmed what Naruto told him earlier today. Sasuke was gay and he was afraid that people would find out, even when he was just discovering about it. Closing his eyes and closing the bound paper so he wouldn't ready anymore, he felt something drop on him.

Looking up at the heavens, seeing the clouds there when they weren't there before, he sighed. It felt good being kissed by the heavens, it made him feel less sick with how he was with his brother.

"I figured I would find you here." A male voice soothed him more, even to the point he was smiling.

Feeling nothing of the rain, the Uchiha opened his ebony eyes, seeing a dozen water droplets settle on the clear lenses, he bent back farther to stare at the face that he recognized. He wasn't sure how he was in love with him when he saw him the first time.

When he first met him, his skin was the same as his was, but now it was tattooed to be a blue color. Seeing gill like tattoos settle at the corner of his eyes, he sighed with his smile falling. "How would you figure that out fishie?"

Licking his lips and helping his lover up, he whistled. "I figured you would be here since it seems like you like it here."

"I feel like I'm with my brother, that's why. You know that as well as I do Kisame." Itachi stated, and reminding the taller man as to why he showed up here.

Nodding then inclining his head to look at the book that was held close to his uke's heart, he raised a dyed eyebrow at it. "What's with the book?"

Looking down at it, as if it was a small child that he held deeply to his heart, he smiled. It was the only thing that was going to explain why his brother was up to ending his life. It might even give him a name for who caused his brother to go over the edge. "Just a little something that Naruto gave me when I visited him."

**This was definitely longer then the first chapter. I felt like throwing in KisaxIta pairing since it seemed perfect but I feel like I've made Kis-a-me OOC. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

His body withered in pain, as if he was experiencing something again. As a cough echoed, making his body ache, he wrapped his free arm around his torso to keep the shutter to himself but he knew that Kisame saw it all. It was the same every day.

He just got lucky when he was visiting Naruto that he didn't have a coughing fit.

Looking up at the gold eyes that were also tattooed – he was starting to think that his lover had an obsession for the body art – he saw the worry lace in them. Bowing his head, taking the glass of water that was offered to him, and the medication that were supposed to help him with the illness he was battling.

Pulling his hand away long enough to down what needed to be down, he stared at the crimson that was on it. It just told him that it wasn't working or he needed a stronger dose of it. Reaching for a tissue, he wiped his hand off and closed his eyes.

"You should have told me that you weren't feeling well." Kisame stated finally, breaking the silence that was finally there. Watching the eyes open of his Uchiha, he sighed. It was hard to get through to his lover now because of the fact that he accepted his fate as someone that was going to die of this illness.

"I should have done a lot of things fishie." Itachi replied with his head tilting to the side slowly so he could look at the man that loved him even if he felt like he was dying at times. Biting his lip, he lowered his gaze to the empty glass that was once filled with water.

"That's true."

Getting up, his body still reeling from the sudden cough attack that was on him, he reached down to get the book that was held so close to his brother. Holding it under his arm, scared that he would have another attack and send blood on it, he walked away.

"Where are you going?" Kisame's voice was laced with concern like his eyes were. Following the shorter man with his gaze, he wanted to go after him just so he would be okay but it wouldn't be right. He needed his privacy.

"Study. If Oka-san calls, tell her that I'm busy." The ebony haired man said as he readjusted his glasses so they would fit better instead of when he was going through the coughing.

Nodding, Kisame went back to lounging around on the couch with the soccer game on the television, maybe even catch a nap since he had to be at work early that day.

Closing the door behind him silently, his gaze focusing on the small room that was dedicated to his addiction to reading and it looking like a traditional Japanese room, he walked over to get in a seat that would be comfortable. He wanted to read more about the drama that was going through Sasuke's life that he didn't even know about it.

Looking down at the book that was in his lap, his hand itched to open it once more so he could read the next entry that was in it. He couldn't though. A part of him was afraid to read more of what was going on in the past when he should have been there for his sibling when he clearly wasn't. Pursing his lips at thought, Itachi let his eyelids fall.

Hoping that it would be this small moment of looking at the pictures and memories that he had of his only sibling, it grew longer. Before long it seemed like it was stretching on and his breathing was evening out. It made him feel peaceful and not like he was slowly dying from something that possibly didn't have a cure.

**A lot shorter from the first two but I didn't really have anything planned for this. *bows* thank you all for reviewing, please review once more. They really brighten my day. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

His eyes fluttered open at the bright light that was shining into the room. It hurt his eyes at first before they readjusted to them. Looking around, he noticed that sometime during his nap that he fell over with the book nestled near him but looked like he moved it out of the way.

Looking around as he sat up, Itachi let a small yawn escape him before the door opened to show his tattooed obsessed lover in his boxers that had something on them that he wasn't sure about. Blinking sleepily, the Uchiha gave the taller man a quick smile before reaching over for the book.

"I thought you would have got up during the middle of the night." Kisame said finally as his ill lover got up from where he was. Watching him set the book on the desk, he kept his gaze on it but turned it to the face that he fell for.

"Drowsiness is one of the side effects Fishie." Itachi sighed as if he was still more than half asleep. In the back of his mind, he was reminded that he wanted to continue reading the book that was given to him by the blond that he knew so well. "What do you have planned for today?"

Leaning against the doorframe and watching as his lover stretched to get his spine and other bones to crack and pop so he could relax, he shrugged. "I have work. I don't get off until three I think. Do you want me to pick anything up before I come back?"

Shaking his head, wanting to be left alone so he could hide the book that was precious to him, the ebony haired man leaned against the desk that was the only western thing in the room. "I don't think so. If I think of anything then I'll tell ya."

"You always do." Kisame pipped in before walking out of the doorway with the door closing behind him. Groaning at the thought of work, his mind focused on his concern that was on his lover's health, he walked into the bathroom to wake himself up.

Hearing the shower going, Itachi looked around for anyplace that would be perfect for hiding the leather bound paper. Somewhere that Kisame wouldn't think of so he could enjoy reading the book that held his deceased brother's thoughts that were over a two-year span. Once his lover was gone, he would most likely go back to bed so he could get a little more sleep then read what was on the next page.

Sighing and giving up on trying to find a place to hide the book, he carried it with him to the bedroom that he shared with the taller man. Flopping down on his side, sticking the book under the pillow so his beloved wouldn't find it or get to it easily, he settled down and let his eyes fall close once more.

"_Nii-san."_ That voice was familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it. It made him want to hear it more so he could figure out who it belonged to. Deep down though, he was scared at who it might belong to. It might be someone that he wanted to see so badly but never got a change or someone he didn't want to see because of reasons.

It seemed almost like someone was calling out to him, wanting his attention to the point that he just wanted to crack his eyes open to see who it was.

"_Nii-san."_ He recognized that voice finally, making his body jolt in recognize. It had to be his memory playing on him because he wanted to see his brother again. That had to be the reason. Groaning at the memories he had mixed feelings about, he tried to push it out of his mind so he could get some more sleep before doing nothing. That was how he spent his day unless he went out to the library or somewhere to meet up with someone.

"_Nii-san, I wish we didn't lose Kiki-chan."_ That name brought back memories of the siamese that Sasuke got attached to when he was growing up. Opening his eyes, hoping that he would lose the sight of his brother's smiling face, he continued to picture it.

"Itachi, I'm heading out. I'll lock the door if you don't want to get up." Kisame's voice came into the room after the door opened. He didn't want to look over his shoulder, showing his lover that his eyes were tearing up, so he just laid there as if he was already asleep. Blinking, the blue skinned man smirked a little before closing the door behind him.

Once he thought it was clear, Itachi rolled over until he was facing the door that was once open. Reaching under the pillow, feeling his fingertips brush against the binding that held the papers together, he sighed. Letting his eyes fall close, the Uchiha sighed once more as he let the memories take his mind.

"_Nii-san where are you going?" Sasuke's words usually didn't cut like a knife but they did for some reason that day. Reaching out for his brother's shirt, gripping it tightly so he couldn't pull away, he watched as his only sibling turned to look at him._

"_I got work. It's not like the kennels are going to clean themselves Sasuke." Itachi said, his mind slightly numb from the confessions that were still echoing in his mind. Why did he have someone like Kakashi after him just because of how he looked? He didn't even return those feelings to the silver haired man that was his senior._

_Nodding, Sasuke let go of the shirt slowly, as if he was afraid to let it go. It seemed like the only lifeline he had at the time. Looking into the sable eyes that were surrounded by glasses, he tried to smile._

"_Why don't you go hang out with Naruto or someone?" Their father suggested as he pulled his nose away from the sports channel long enough to look at his two children._

_Shaking his head, he didn't want to do that. It didn't sound fun anymore because he was afraid that someone would find out. Turning around, he headed to his room where he usually spent his time anymore._

"_When I get back, I'll treat ya for some ice cream." Itachi called back, only to watch his sibling stiffen at the words._

_Turning around, he glared at the taller Uchiha that was still standing there. He wanted to show his dislike for the sweet food that his brother offered to buy him but didn't. At least not in the way he was picturing it in his mind. "I don't like sweets. Remember nii-san?"_

"_Oh. Gomen." Itachi stated as if he wasn't really speaking an apology. It didn't seem like it to Sasuke._

Opening his eyes, telling him that he might as well stay up, Itachi sat up with his back resting against the pillows. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, his body wanting to cough but he held it back so he could keep the blood in him for a bit longer, he reached under and grabbed the book that once belonged to his deceased brother.

Opening it, staring at the cover page once more, he sighed slightly. Why did he dream about his brother? At times, he was convinced that it didn't help with the drugs he was taking. Looking over at the clock, seeing that it was a little pass noon, he got out of bed to get some more of his medicine in so he wouldn't have another coughing fit.

Once downing that, he worked on getting a sandwich made and looked at the answering machine, seeing it blinking with a message. Pushing down the button, he leaned against the counter with a bite.

"Itachi, its oka-san. I was just wondering if you want to come over for dinner tonight. That is if your body is up for it. Oh, reminder. You got a doctor's appointment this Friday with Tsunade." Mikoto's voice filled the answer as Itachi shook his head.

He didn't want to go see a doctor, especially the one that found out that his lungs were slowly dying, only to hear the same thing over again. Closing his eyes with another bite in his month, he watched as his memories of his brother taunted him once more.

Opening his eyes, he pushed the button to delete the message and walked out to the living room to get his glasses.

Naruto groaned at the fact that he barely got any sleep that night. It had to be the fact that he gave Itachi that book that contained so much about Sasuke. Laying his forehead against his desk, he swore he was ready to fall asleep. Feeling something fall on top of his head, he strained to get his head up right before it came off.

"Well you look like you've seen better days." Sai commented with that usually fake smile that he always directed toward Naruto.

"Shut up." Naruto groaned and grabbed the papers that he needed to sign. He hated working at this place but it had to do because it paid the bills with a little extra left over. Looking out the window as he finished the signature on one paper, he sighed. "What's the weather supposed to be like this weekend?"

"Unless they change it . . . clear, upper seventies." The ebony haired man commented with a tilt of his head. "Why?"

"Just wondering." The Namikaze said before pushing away another paper that didn't need his attention. He should get more flowers to place on Sasuke's grave so his friend would know that he was still cared for even if he did something stupid in his eyes. He saw it as a coward's way out of something.

As the pile slowly went down by one paper, the blond haired man felt like his hand was going to give out on him. Even after a couple of months of working here, he still couldn't get used to signing so many papers. Groaning at the thought of doing more paperwork, Naruto rushed so he could get his desk back.

"Arigatou Namikaze-san." Sai commented as he took the stack away from the man that looked like he was ready to bite someone's head off.

Once the door was closed, Naruto reached over and turned on the radio so he didn't have to put up with silence. It felt good having noise around him, to occupy his mind so he didn't have to think about his deceased friend.

Turning the electronic down a bit, he opened his phone and called his mother who probably was busy making lunch for his father. "Oka-san."

"Narutooo!" Kushina chimed into the phone with her voice raising a bit that made Naruto hold it away from his ear. "How's work?"

"Fine. Boring but fine. What's going on with Itachi lately? He's paler then normal."

"When did you last see him?" The auburn haired woman inquired as her eyebrows pulled together at the subject that her son was asking.

"Yesterday. He came over. He wanted to ask me about Sasuke." He said as the thoughts of the Uchiha being paler beyond normal filled his mind. He knew that there was something wrong with him because he knew that Itachi looked perfectly healthy since he saw the Uchiha at the anniversary gathering at Sasuke's grave.

Hearing the sigh from his mother on the other end, he knew something was up. "Naruto, he's has something going on with him. It might not make any sense to you but I'll try to explain it the best I can. Since Sasuke's death, he went through his own bout of depression. Then he started filling ill, coughing almost constantly. He went to the doctor's and found out that his lungs are failing him. It's slow but I'm sure pretty soon that he won't even be around."

Shaking his head, not wanting to hear the words that he might lose the only person that made him feel like Sasuke was with him, Naruto bit his lip. "Arigatou."

Hanging up, he didn't want to hear anything else from his mother. He didn't want to admit it but he was scared that he was losing someone else that he loved deeply.

**Length of progress: At least a couple days – give or take. I'm not sure but I felt like I should add in Itachi's disease even if I did change it up a bit. Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He paid attention to the date, noticing it was a couple days after Sasuke's birthday and went on to the handwriting that was his brother's. Instead of laying in bed like he wanted to, he was settled on the couch with a cup of tea on the coffee table and sighed a little.

It was a little easier to breathe because of the medicine that he took but it just eased the pain that he was going through because of the illness that was terminal. Letting his eyes close, listening to the silence that was around the apartment until something hit the floor in the apartment above his. Opening his eyes and glaring at the ceiling, hoping that the person felt it, he shook his head.

Staring at the page that was the second entry, Itachi bit his cheek so he could keep the tears from falling from his eyes. Even holding this bound paper was making him want to tear up at the thoughts of his brother.

Taking a breath that usually kept him from crying, the Uchiha blinked and went n reading the second entry that his brother wrote.

_Dear Diary (it still feels weird calling you diary when Nii-san said that you can be a journal)_

_I hate school so much, but who doesn't. I don't think that Nii-san hates it with the way he gets good grades. At least when he was in school. At times, I think oto-san just wants to make a clone of Nii-san in me with the way he pressures me into getting good grades._

_I don't hate it, but it hurts to think that he just wants me to be this stressed. That's one of the reasons why I cut myself. Naruto's still trying to get my from cutting, go figure right? Like I said before, I know he hates it but he doesn't have to go through this stress. It's not like his father pressures him into being the best he can be. He just lets him do what he wants to do at times._

_And because of that, I'm envious of Dobe. I wish my parents were so carefree as his is. I wish oto-san didn't put so much pressure on me to be the best I can be because he wants me to do something that I probably don't even want to do. I won't mind working at somewhere that I enjoy being at. That old saying of enjoying what you do is not working a day in your life, or does it go differently?_

Itachi knew how Sasuke felt with the pressuring their father had done when they were growing up but he knew why he was doing it. Their father just wanted them to be in a stable job so they didn't have to worry about where their next meal would be coming from. He knew that when he was going through the university and having to work two jobs just to get a little extra money.

There were times he was about ready to move back in with them so he didn't have to worry about wasting money. His mother said he could come back if anything happened and he was ready to do that back then. Of course he was in a job that he fairly enjoyed until he came down sick. Now he couldn't work because the stress would cause the illness to act up.

_As for what's going on with school, I hate it. I'm scared that I would get found out about this secret. I'm afraid that people would find out that I'm gay. It feels weird to even say it in the shower since I'm mostly alone then. It feels weird thinking that I get infatuated with the same sex instead of the opposite sex._

_Naruto, he's fine with it but I was afraid that he wouldn't be. He freaked out when I was going camping with him and his family. It was like that blond didn't think I had the guts to go outdoors or something. At times I don't get him. I blame the fact that our mothers went through school together like we have. There's times I wish I didn't have my friend but I'm glad I have him as a friend. Even if he's annoying at most of those times._

_I guess I should go to bed since I'm supposed to be. I usually spend this time reading or doing something that oto-san doesn't allow. The only pet peeve I have is that he would let Nii-san do whatever he wanted. He let him stay up an hour to read or whatever but when I want to, I can't. Why is that?_

Closing the book just in time to hear the news start going off, Itachi looked up at the screen. It was breaking news and it was centered around the capital. He didn't concern him since Kisame didn't work around there.

Sighing with his thoughts turning to the tattooed obsessed man, he knew that he had to be tattooing at that moment. He didn't understand why he enjoying doing that because the one time he was there dropping off his lunch – since he forgot it on purpose – he watched as one client had her toes curling. It maybe didn't help when she was getting a tramp stamp done either.

Listening to the droning that was going on, on the television, he reached over and started to flip through the channels for anything that sounded interesting to watch. As he made it to the movies, he went slower, reading the information before going to the next.

Nothing sounded interesting to him, making him hiss in annoyance. Tossing the remote onto the table, he fell back and stared at the ceiling that seemed like it saw better days. Wanting to paint it a different color, Itachi groaned at the thought of being denied that. Ever since he found out that he was slowly dying, he couldn't do things that he used to enjoy.

He couldn't go to the humane society and volunteer like he used to – like Sasuke used to. He couldn't go to cafes around Japan and taste what they had to offer and blog about it. Groaning at the thought of his hobby gone, he rolled over and stared at the back of the couch.

Reaching over and grabbing the book once more, he flipped it open until he was staring at the third entry.

_Deary Diary_

_Dobe's been acting weird lately and I can't put my finger on it. I know it's not because of me being gay or anything. I've asked him about that and he just won't say what it is. He gets all fidgety for some reason whenever I mention my family._

_I know there's nothing going on in his family because his parents are awesome. Sure his ka-san likes to pull pranks on you for no reason and then there's his oto-san who enjoys reading perverted books that make no sense. I don't see why he reasons Jiraiya's books because they seem boring but that's what I heard about them. I didn't read them, I swear._

_When I do ask him about it, getting back on subject here, all I get is him looking around for something to change subject on. I swear he needs to get his mind straight or just tell me about what's bothering him._

Itachi could only picture what was the matter with that blond he knew so well. Letting his eyes close for a blink, he opened them to stare at the pages that he was on. It was almost like he was seeing what was going on in his brother's head while he was alive.

Biting his lip at the tender subject, he sighed through his nose. He didn't have his brother any more because of the tormenter that found out that his brother didn't like the opposite sex. He still wanted to give that guy a piece of his mind or something else. But with his condition, he couldn't do that. He would just overexert himself and possibly speed up the damage that was going on in his lungs. He wished that there was a cure that would get rid of it for him.

_Then there's the fact that I have Nii-san to worry about. There's something wrong with him and I don't even know. Ahh! Why is everyone keeping secrets from me? I want to know why! I'm not this five-year-old anymore. I can keep secrets so why won't anyone tell me what's going on?_

_I hate people at times. It makes me want to be a hermit so I don't put up with them anymore. But then I would miss oka-san's cooking. I really love her cooking. Then I would miss Nii-san's company because he seems like the only light in the end of the tunnel when I come home from school. He's the one willing to put up with them and help me if I have trouble on my homework._

_I wouldn't wish for a better brother._

Almost out of nowhere there was a big text with a chibi fox drawn next to it, saying Naruto is Here!

He had a feeling that it was Naruto's doing since it said his name. It even looked like his handwriting. Sighing, shaking his head at the blond's antics, he went down to look at the sentence that was below it.

_As I was saying until Naruto interrupted, I – ahh I can't think anymore. I'll interrogate Dobe then._

There was another pause, making Itachi's eyebrow raise at what was going on. He thought diaries and personal journals were supposed to be private and not in the open for everyone to see. Sighing and getting up to get something to drink, he looked over at the clock, seeing it a little pass two. It felt like the day was going by slowly again.

Walking back into the living room with a cup of fruit punch in his hand, he perched the book on his lap and flipped the page to read what was going on in his deceased brother's life.

_Ah ha! I found out what's going on with Dobe and why he's so fidgety whenever I bring up my family. I'm kinda surprised with him since he seems like the type of guy that would fall for Hinata but it's not that._

_I'm not sure he's lying or faking it, but he says that he's gay too. Believe it or not, he also said who he likes. I'm kinda glad that he doesn't like oto-san in that way because that would be just creepy. He likes Itachi. It's hard to believe that my little dobe has a crush on my brother. I wonder how Nii-san would take it if he ever found out?_

Shock seemed to roll through his body even as he took a drink of the juice. He wanted to spit it out but that would cause him to ruin the papers that he wanted to cherish for the rest of the life he had. Staring at the aging paper, seeing what he just found out, he downed the rest of the juice.

Naruto liked him. He didn't come off as liking him. He must have found out a way to keep it to himself without letting it out or something. He just had to or else he might have exploded – figuratively speaking – when he was near him.

Letting the bound paper close, he looked up just in time to hear the door get a knock. Getting up, feeling a bit dizzy for some reason, he walked over and looked through the peephole. In front of him were the sapphire eyes that he recognized so well, along with the blond hair that seemed to be styled every day to the points that they were in. Just who he was thinking about.

Opening the door and greeting the younger man, Itachi moved out of the way and sighed a little.

Looking around the place since it was his first time being there, he kicked off his shoes and walked inside. "Nice place Itachi."

"Kisame did the decorating if you're wondering. He has a weird sense of style since he does tattoos." Itachi grumbled at the thought of the profession that used to be associated with the yakuza and other gangs. But before that happened – which Kisame lectured him about – it was for war and other reasons that men got tattooed. That it wasn't until around the World Wars that women started getting tattooed.

"He does? Ah, I forgot you two are seeing each other. This sucks. I hate having my memory at times." Naruto complained to himself as he caught sight of the journal that Sasuke used to keep before he passed away. "So have you been reading it?"

"Yeah. I'm on the third entry that you graffiti you little punk." Itachi laughed. He could barely laugh now because of his lungs. He hated that. He wanted to laugh at a lot of things but never could without worrying that his lungs wouldn't handle it.

"Oh, that was his fault. He left it in the wide open." Naruto said as he pointed a finger at the Uchiha that was with him. Sitting down, he hoped that Itachi didn't ask about his infatuation with the man that was in the same room as him.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Whatever you have." Naruto replied as he looked up briefly. Letting his sapphire eyes fall back to the book that was resting beside an empty glass and a tossed remote, he sighed a little.

Part of him wanted to tell Itachi how he felt back then and to now. He couldn't though because he was scared. Itachi was seeing someone that was willing to take days off on end to take care of him while he couldn't. Kisame deserved Itachi since they seemed so perfect for each other.

Walking back into the room, seeing Naruto staring off into space, the ebony haired man sighed silently and nudged the blond with the glass. Seeing him fumble until he grabbed it, something bothered Itachi. It had to be the entry that he brought up. Sitting down in the chair that Kisame seemed to favor, he leaned forward and coughed a little.

"How are you feeling?" Naruto questioned as if he was asking someone how they were fairing with their cold. He knew that the man didn't have a cold. He knew that he was dying because of a disease that was causing his lungs to slowly die, even with the help of medicine. He knew before long that the Uchiha would be put on the transplant list.

"Fine." Itachi said casually, his tone normal even if he wanted to burst out and ask him how long he liked him. Grabbing the empty glass that belonged to him, he rolled it around in hands and stared at nothing like he used to do during school. "When did you start liking me Naruto?"

Jumping at the question he feared, the blond Namikaze looked over slowly. He didn't get what he wanted; wanting the question not asked. Sighing and looking at the glass that was filled with a red liquid, Naruto let his gaze stay there. He couldn't meet the man's gaze now since there was this tension in the air. "Since freshman year. Like Sasuke I was discovering myself but I didn't use cutting as an answer."

"Are you saying that he was being a coward?" Itachi felt himself growl, feeling it rumble in his chest. Getting ready to pounce on the person he thought were best friends – even brothers – with his departed brother.

"No! I'm not saying that. He could have asked for help but he didn't. He was being stubborn. You know that as well as I do Itachi-kun." Naruto sighed and let his gaze turn to the man that was glaring at him even if he was ill. "I wanted to tell you how I felt but you were away on college most of the time or whatever you were doing."

"I was looking for a job mostly. Something that I could deem worthy of my time and able to enjoy without being pissed off at the world most of the time." Itachi clarified as he let his eyes fall to the carpet that he hated. He wanted hard wood floors but that didn't happen.

Nodding, the blond haired man leaned back, letting him take in the Uchiha better. "I wish I told you how I felt sooner then maybe it might have helped Sasuke. It might have but who knows. That guy was a complete mystery near the end."

"I know." Itachi whispered, feeling like the silence that was there in the room – even with the droning of the television – was making him feel claustrophobic. He knew that his brother was withdrawing and didn't do anything about it. He should have but he didn't.

"Tell me something. When did you get sick?"

"How did you find out about that?" Itachi inquired as he turned his gaze to meet the younger person's. He had a feeling Naruto found out from someone that knew he was this way.

"Oka-san told me today. I wished I known sooner then I would have given you that earlier. It might not change your condition though which pissed me off that I didn't know anything about it. I wanted to know. I want to help you a bit, even if it might not change your fate." Naruto felt like he was rambling like Neji when he was in school before he punched the guy in the mouth during government.

"Gomen. I didn't want anyone else to worry about me."

"Worry! Of course everyone will worry when they found out that you passed away. I don't want that. No one wants that Itachi because you're too young to die. Sasuke was too young to die. There's kids all over the world today killing themselves because no one wants to accept them because they're this or that. It really pissed me off!" Naruto ranted as his arm flew to the air. "If it could change anything, I would have told you I loved you in freshman year. I wish it could."

Looking into the blue orbs that were the blond's, he saw them grow misty, telling him that he was getting ready to cry. Sighing and getting up, even if his body groaned at the feeling, he walked over and sat down beside the man. "There's a lot of things I wish I could change."

Nodding, Naruto knew what would change first. He would change the fact that Sasuke died. He might change the fact that kids were dying because people won't accept them for who they were. "I know this is a late thing to say but here I go. I like you Uchiha Itachi."

***blinks and looks at how many pages* This is the longest chapter yet! Woot! I feel happy about it for some reason, even if it'll be a pain in the ass to do the grammar check on it. *sighs* Please review, alert, and favorite. I love fan art also. I've been forgetting to say that. *blinks then dies of over exerting myself on this***


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was almost like music to his ears for some reason. He was happy with Kisame so why did it seem like those words were special? They seemed more special compared to when Kisame said 'I love you' to him. Smiling a little, Itachi leaned against the Namikaze and sighed. "That's nice."

"Something the matter Itachi?" Naruto inquired as he leaned to look over at the man that was beside him. Looking at him, seeing his eyes drooping and his skin paler than normal. Shaking him, biting his lip to keep his emotions in check, the blond tried to get any response. "Itachi?"

"Huh?" His question came out lightly, as if he was whispering when he didn't want to. Looking up at the blond that was with him, his vision was blurry and it looked like he was looking at an old black and white movie. Smiling a little, he heard the door open and close. It was Kisame, and he knew that.

"Itachi?" Naruto questioned once more, shaking the ebony haired man that was making him worry. Looking up in time to see the tattooed person, he bit his lip but let it go. "Something's wrong with Itachi?"

Cursing mentally, Kisame pushed his lover upright and tapped him harshly on the back. Getting nothing, he sighed and pressed his ear against the shorter person's back. Looking over at the blue-eyed man that was sitting on the couch and tapped Itachi on the back again. "I want you to call for the EMT. Do it now."

The harshness hurt Naruto but he didn't blame the guy for acting like that. Getting up and grabbing the cordless phone, he dialed, listening to the tapping that was going on.

His eyes fell close even if it hurt that Kisame was doing that to him. Trying to take a breath and getting nothing, he knew something was going on. Something was causing his body to feel like it was suffocating. He wanted answers like everyone else.

"Come on Itachi. What the hell is going on? You were doing so well." Kisame heard his voice raise with concern and he knew that he had a right to do raise it.

The ebony haired man wanted to answer but couldn't get the air for it. He wanted to tell him that he didn't know what was going on. He wished he knew but he didn't. As another tap hit him square in the back, he heard a cough escape him but it wasn't enough to get air.

"What the hell happened?" Kisame shouted which normally wasn't like him. Looking up at Naruto a glare settling into his gold eyes, he narrowed them.

"I don't know. The last time I checked he was breathing and then he started acting funny. How am I supposed to know when he can't get a breath of air?" Naruto shouted back before stomping to the door to let the medics in. He felt fear for what seemed like ages but it wasn't directed to Sasuke like ten years ago. This time it was for the only guy that he cared about, that kept his friend's memory alive.

He didn't want to lose him any time soon. He didn't care what it took to keep that Uchiha with him. It made him feel selfish but he knew that he wasn't. It also told him how much he cares for the Uchiha that was there, comforting him when he was crying at the funeral for his friends actions. Letting his eyes fall close as they rushed in, he pushed his back against the door to stare at his subconscious. It hurt to think that he might lose Itachi at any moment.

Opening his eyes in time to see the paler than normal Uchiha being wheeled out, Naruto stared at the eyes that were almost vacant of life. His hair didn't have that normal shine that it used to have but it had to be because of the disease that was ravaging his body.

Feeling the rush of wind that came from the tattooer, he knew he was alone in the world. Rushing into the living room, his hands took the book that held so much of Sasuke's thoughts and flipped to the third entry. He didn't think that Sasuke would have put that in there but in a way he was glad.

Like Sasuke he was afraid that someone would hurt him because he was gay. They both were therapists for the other, which helped him a lot. It didn't help Sasuke or he might have been standing with him.

Walking out to hear the tapping that was going on beside the door, Naruto peeked up at the man that had dyed hair and tattoos and sighed. He was going to take his own car so he could get to the hospital instead of having to put up with Kisame yelling at him. He didn't feel like putting up with the man's attitude at the moment.

Even as he drove, his mind wouldn't stay off the fact that his best friend could have been there, helping his own brother out. Gripping the steering wheel tighter, he followed the squad like Kisame and hoped that nothing was happening to Itachi. He didn't want to lose someone that was there for him. He wanted him around to help him heal the wounds Sasuke made.

"Please. Please Itachi. Please don't die." Naruto begged with all his heart to whoever was in the heavens, hoping they were hearing. It was just one wish that he wanted answered and he wouldn't ask anything else. Blinking away tears to the best his ability, the blond Namikaze parked the car and charged out of it with the book in his arms.

He wouldn't let it go, even if there was something going on. He promised himself that he wouldn't let the book get damaged or anything because Sasuke might not forgive him for it. As he ran into the hospital, following Kisame like on the way, he stayed a good distance away from the two lovers.

Part of him was jealous of the fact that Kisame got Itachi. He wanted to be the one that he shared his memories with. It was that part of him that was envious of people because they did this or that. He was envious of Sasuke for having a brother that cared for him. Kurama didn't care for him at all. That was maybe one of the reasons why he went to study abroad.

Perching himself on a chair in the waiting room, his blue eyes turned to the book that was so close to his heart like his best friend was. It was the only lifeline he had of the teen that killed himself. Sighing, Naruto looked up as doctors and nurses milled around with things to do or nothing to do. He wished he was like that.

Taking a breath, just in time to hear Mikoto's voice in the hallway, he looked up to see the aging woman crying as she stared down at the hall.

"Where is he Naruto-kun? Where's Itachi?"

"I don't know. I didn't follow like Kisame." He answered the woman's questions just as she collapsed into the chair beside him. Reaching out to comfort her, he stopped when he watched her get embraced by Fugaku who seemed to be taking it hard also.

Part of him wanted to tell the parents of his deceased best friend that their son was gay when he committed suicide. Of course it would cause healing wounds to reopen and he didn't want that. He hated that part of him; the part that wanted to blurt things out and see the reactions of it. He didn't want to see this woman hurt again.

"What happened?" Fugaku questioned just as he saw Kisame walking down the hallway with his face grim as if there was something going wrong – possibly worse – for Itachi.

"I don't know Uchiha-san. He stopped breathing for some reason." Naruto said but knew what was going to happen next. It happened when Sasuke had died by his own hands. "He stopped breathing. He slumped against me and I didn't know what to do. I was scared but Kisame came in and tried to help him."

"Fluid in the lungs. They're getting a bit worse than what Tsunade thought. She'll have to put him on a higher dose or something else." Kisame said to show that he had relief even if it was short lived. He didn't want his Uchiha to die. He didn't want to go back to the bottle like he was before he met Itachi.

Shaking her head, Mikoto buried her face deeper into her hands as a sob tore through her. She didn't want her son to get worse. She wanted him to get better. Curling up against her husband, she shook her head even as she held her face in her hands. "Why? Why can't I keep any one of my children? God answer that! Why can't I? I lost Sasuke because of who knows what. I don't want to lose Itachi!"

Naruto let his gaze drift down to the book that told how Sasuke really was. He wished he could help the woman out but knew that it wasn't possible. She might not understand that her youngest was gay and was being tormented at school because of that fact.

At times, he wished that he could back in time. Then maybe he would be able to see his friend one last time and maybe convince him to get help. He didn't want to have a flashback or repeat of the funeral. He even wished that he could help every gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, and everyone else that was struggling with who they were.

**I'm alive! Yay! I actually feel drained. I blame the fact that the day was warm, and lazy. I felt like sleeping the day away but I forced myself to write, read, and actually help my dad out with a few things since my brother got to go to friends house *glares*. Please review, favorite, and/or alert.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"_Nii-san." It was almost like he was having the same dream repeatedly, making him wish that he was waking up again. The only thing that was different from the previous dream he had, Itachi took in Sasuke. It looked like his brother had finally aged to be twenty-one if he didn't pass away._

"_Sasuke?" His question didn't seem like it came from him, as if it was echoing around him from somewhere else._

"_Of course. Who the hell do you think it is? No, you're not dead yet if you're wondering." Sasuke stated bluntly as he shook his head at his brother's reaction. Standing in front of the older Uchiha, he smiled. "How Oka-san?"_

_His body tensed at the topic his brother wanted to go on. He knew how the woman was since he was still walking on the earth. Shaking his head, Itachi stopped to look at his brother clearly. "Not so good. She's depressed. She has to take medication Otouto-san just to feel like her old self."_

_Nodding, the younger Uchiha looked to the ground where they stood. He didn't want to cause that pain to the woman that cared for him but yet he did. Sighing, he sat down and looked up at his brother with a small smile on his lips. "How about Dobe?"_

"_Still the same blond that you know."_

"_Did he give you the book yet? My journal I mean." Sasuke questioned as his gaze dipped to his lap but slowly went up to look at the man that was his brother. Biting his lip at the thought, he wasn't sure what to expect as an answer._

"_Yeah. He did." Itachi stated as he met the ebony eyes of his brother. He swore this was a dream but deep down he knew that it wasn't. It was almost like he was actually talking to his deceased brother. He heard stories of people having this same experience but wasn't sure if they just had that person on their mind or not._

"_How far along are you?"_

"_I finished the third entry. Why didn't you tell me that you were gay? Why didn't you tell me that Naruto was . . . infatuated with me?" Itachi looked for the right word so it didn't sound so childish to him but it all felt like that._

"_Because, I didn't know how you would react to the news. It's in the same category of getting married, having a kid, etc. At least that's what it feels like to me. I was afraid that you would have thrown me away, like something vile. I had that constant fear that if I did tell you then you would have told Oto-san. I didn't want him knowing." Sasuke explained as he shook his head. He didn't want to cry because of the topic he brought up himself._

_Walking over and bending down to embrace his deceased brother, he smiled a little. Pulling away, he had a feeling that his brother had been watching him since he had paused away. "Do you know what's been going on?"_

"_No. I hate watching everyone because I see the pain I caused. I wish I didn't do that to them. I wish I didn't do that stupid choice."_

_Nodding, the older Uchiha sat down in front of his brother. Smiling a little, he wished that he had a picture of Kisame to show him. "Naruto told me how he feels. I can't return them though."_

"_Why? Who's the lucky girl? She better be good because if not, I'll haunt her little ass." Sasuke exclaimed only to see his brother laughing like it was a joke. "Nii-san I mean it. I'll do it."_

"_Wrong gender goof. Sure I can't give up girls which is a hard thing to do but my body's leaning more toward gay. I met someone while I was in college. Believe it or not, he was an apprentice at the time."_

"_For what? Don't tell me he was learning how to strip. Please don't tell me you fell for someone like that." The ebony hair with a bluish tint to it shook as Sasuke shook his head while he whined._

"_No. He does tattoos. He's pretty obsessed about them, at least that's what I think though. He's nice though. He said that if I'm ever willing, he'll do a memorial tattoo for you."_

"_You're scared of needles though." Sasuke commented as he looked into the ebony eyes that were slightly dulled because of his eyesight. He knew something was wrong with his brother but didn't want to ask._

"_I know. If it comes down to it, then I'll do it. Oto-san got one. He got a cat that has a ribbon around its neck with your birth and passing date." Itachi chimed as he pointed to his forearm where his father had gotten it._

"_Nii-san is there something you're not telling me."_

Almost like that, the dream had ended. When he woke, he felt something wet on his face. It felt like his mother had been crying over him but he knew that wasn't the case when he felt a droplet of water fall from his eyes.

"Itachi you're awake." Naruto's chiming voice made the Uchiha look over to see the blond sitting with his parents around him. Kisame was on the side but it looked like he was trying not to glare at the blond.

"Yeah." The Uchiha croaked, as if something had been shoved down his throat to do whatever needed to be done. "What happened?"

"Fluid in the lungs." Mikoto answered before anyone else. Looking over at her husband, seeing him try not to cry over the fact that their only living son was dying slowly. "Your condition is getting worse."

Nodding, Itachi looked at Kisame, giving the older man a smile but didn't see one be returned. Sighing, he tried to sit up but couldn't. His back hurt, probably from where they had to stick the needle in to get the fluid out.

"You'll be here for a couple days." Fugaku finally spoke up, letting his son hear how conflicted he was over the fact that he won't have a son anymore. Meeting his gaze, he tried to force a smile onto his lips but couldn't.

Mikoto basically begged the known Gods and Goddesses of all the religions to spare her son but time could only tell. Before long – from what Tsunade told them – he'll be put on the transplant list for a new set of lungs. Then time would only tell if his body accepted them or not.

Getting up, she hugged her only child tightly, not wanting to let him go before walking out of the room.

Itachi knew that his mother was upset about the fact that he was dying but he never really saw his father near tears before. The older Uchiha tried to hide those things but it was hard not to miss now. Smiling at the man that he was raised by, he watched him leave before turning his attention to Naruto and Kisame.

"Itachi." Kisame's voice seemed solemn, as if he was trying to think things over without asking another's opinion.

"Naruto can you give us five minutes?" The Uchiha inquired and looked over at the Namikaze who was holding the journal his brother wrote in. Seeing him nod, he disappeared from his sight which focused on the Hoshigaki in front of him. He had a feeling he won't like what his lover had to say.

"I'm going to be going out of the country. I got a job in California to be an artist. I leave next week." Kisame stated. He didn't want to beat around the bush because of the Uchiha's health but he also knew that giving it to him straight forward could damage him also. "I wanted you to know."

"I guess you want to end the relationship then."

"No, I don't. I don't want that. I just wanted you to know now instead of finding it out later on when I'm packing or whatever." The blue haired artist insisted but saw the anger that was rising in the sable eyes.

"You know as well as I do that long distant relationships don't work. You've tried that once with that girl from high school. You told me that it didn't work because she moved to Kyoto. I guess we might as well end it because California and here are in two different time zones. We won't be able to talk." Itachi said, letting his head fall back into the pillow and his gaze turning to the window.

"But I don't want that."

"I know this, I don't want it either but it's better this way. You have your dreams to follow. I have mine. Go live it." The ebony haired man stated almost coldly. It seemed like he was saying everything in a cold tone but he wasn't sure how his lover was taking it.

Bowing his head, his stride taking him over to the bedside, his hands reached out to hold the paler one. He didn't want things to end. He wanted to be there for the Uchiha until he did pass away – which he didn't want – or got better. "Thanks for all the fun times."

Nodding, Itachi let his eyes fall close as he tried to get comfortable without the machines going crazy. Hearing the man walk away, he knew it was going to be hard. He didn't want a relationship yet since this one just ended. At times he wished that he didn't fall in love.

**It's almost a little shorter than what the typical pages that it's been typed up in. Also, that dream! *points to the top* I've had one like that twice but with my grandfather. It was really weird but I loved it at the same time. Please give me feedback! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It hurt to think that he was alone now. He wouldn't have anyone to help him feel sane. Part of him thought he was stupid for being like that toward Kisame. He should have held on, trying to keep the man with him until his last breath. That part though, was selfish. It made him feel like a pathetic person for wanting to keep someone from their dream even if he was dying.

"Itachi-san? Where's Hoshigaki?" Naruto chimed before his tone dipped to look around the room. Stepping in before he got knocked down by something that was passing by, the blond haired man sighed a little. Looking over at the sable eyes that were just surrounded by glasses, he saw them mist over again. Something happened.

Itachi turned his gaze to the window, hoping, praying that Kisame would rethink it. He loved the guy. He would give anything to have the tattooer by his side still but it wasn't fair for the other man. Jumping a little at the cooler touch that was on his hand, he looked over at the Namikaze that was staring at him.

"Why are you crying Itachi-san?" Naruto inquired as he reached up with his free hand and wiped at a tear that was descending down the older man's face. He was worried that something happened while he left, making his mind image what it might be.

"It's nothing. Nothing." Itachi tried to keep his tone normal, to make sure the blond didn't catch on that he was hurt. He hurt himself. He screwed up by letting the man that was willing to do anything to make sure he was content and healthy. Even if he was dying because of his lungs, he enjoyed the times that he was with the older man.

"There is something. Tell me please."

That tone the Namikaze used made his mind wonder. Maybe Kisame was just another stepping stone toward that special someone. At least that's what his mother told him when he was started seeing people. Letting his eyes fall close, reaching under the glasses and wiping at the tears before Naruto got to them, he tried to force a smile on his face.

Knowing that there were others that were willing to look after him, to make sure that he was doing fine, was enough for him. He was content with that. Soon he'll be joining Sasuke. He'll be able to see his brother again, to play games with him, do things that they used to do when they were growing up.

Naruto reached over and shook the ebony haired man, seeing his eyes open slowly. "Itachi-san, you didn't answer my question. What's the matter? Where's Kisame at?"

"I broke the relationship off." The Uchiha whispered, as if he was afraid to let the words escape his lips. It made his heart ache at the thought. He gave Kisame up so he could follow his dream while he laid in the hospital bed dying because his lungs wanted to quit functioning. The other half of him knew that it was the right thing to do though.

"What? Why?" The sapphire eyes widened at the words that he caught. At first he thought he was hearing that instead of what he really said until it sank in. Shaking his head, his lips parting at the thought, Naruto grabbed the hand that didn't have a needle stuck in it. "Why? I thought you loved him."

Turning his head to meet the younger man's gaze, he knew he was worried about what he just said. Everyone will be. Lowering them to the tan hands that were holding his tightly, squeezing them, he smiled even if it hurt. "Because he was going to the States for a job. I won't be able to follow because of my illness. He needs to follow his dreams, like everyone else Namikaze-san."

Wanting to punch the man to get him into his usual self, Naruto kept the urge back so he didn't do it. He didn't want to get kicked out of the hospital. It didn't make sense. Itachi didn't seem like the type of person that would give things up so easily. He seemed like the type of person that would fight for them until he was ragged, until every bone in his body was broken. Biting his lip to keep his shouting in check, the sapphire eyed man shook his head.

"What do you want to say Naruto?"

"Baka! This isn't the Itachi I know. The Itachi I know wouldn't be giving up so easily. The Itachi I know would fight for something he believed in until his body was broken or something else caused him to stop." Naruto stated sharply, his head shaking. "What would Sasuke say? What would Teme think about it?"

He knew that Sasuke would hate him for what he did. But it was for the good. He wasn't going to be around forever, especially with what's going on in his body. Taking a breath to keep himself calm, knowing that if he did start raising his voice, his vitals would rise also.

Letting his gaze drift to his lap where a sheet covered him. Taking a breath, he wasn't sure what he was going to do now. He didn't have anyone there to help him out if something happened. Kisame knew what to do if something happened to him but he was going to be going to America for a job that he wanted to do. He wouldn't hold him back because of his illness.

"Itachi-san. This isn't like you." Naruto said softly, his eyes almost softening to how soft his voice was. Letting go of the pale hand, he walked over to the door and looked back. "Do you want me to get you some water?"

"Please." Itachi answered. Part of him wanted the blond to take his time. The only reason why he wanted his friend to take his time was sitting on the table beside the bed. Grabbing the book that Naruto had with him, he flipped it to the fourth entry that he wanted to read.

_Dear Diary (I still don't think that's good. It makes me feel girly lol)_

_Well I told some of my friends how I was. The only one that didn't care for it but was willing to deal with it, if that makes any sense, is Neji. For some reason, he doesn't care for them like some but he won't say all that religious stuff that ticks a lot of people off. Which I'm happy for._

_Naruto was weird today. Then again he's always weird. I don't know why but he was all twitchy today. When I asked him about it during P.E., he said that he saw a guy that interested him. Turns out it was the chemistry student teacher. I felt like slapping my forehead for my friend's hopelessness._

_I mean I never saw him get all lovey dovey over someone like that. Turns out the guy was blond also, with long hair. The only person I know that has long hair is my brother. And I've called him a girl a few times, especially when I was half asleep. Sorry Nii-san._

Itachi shook his head. He remembered all those times. It was weird that his brother would call him a girl because of his long hair. He's seen a few other guys with long hair and it looked cute on them. It might depend on the person.

_When I found out who it was, I swore I felt like slapping my friend on the side of the head. The guy he fell for also has blue eyes. The guy seriously looked like a girl to me. When I said that to Naruto, he just glared at me like I should be sent to the bowels of hell for it. I seriously don't understand him at all._

_When I got home today, I swore Nii-san ran into a little girl or someone in the family brought their little girl. He was sitting on the couch with his hair in pigtails with little girly hair ties in them. I couldn't help but laugh at them, even as he threw a pillow at me. It hit me in the face but I kept laughing at him._

_Oka-san said that Shisui showed up with his little girl, which explains it, and she has this bit obsession with Itachi. Even when she was a baby she just wanted to be held by Nii-san. Now that she's growing up, she doing everything to him. I'm waiting for makeup but I don't think Shisui-itoko's wife will allow her around that stuff._

_So after I put the pillow back, Nii-san was grumbling about his hair and me laughing at it. So he took it out, even if it felt weird to him. He asked how school was after that and I swore I froze. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure if I should tell him that I told everyone about me being gay. I wasn't sure what to do._

Itachi shook his head at the thought. He loved and hated Shisui's girl because of how attached she was to him. There were times that she didn't want to leave and wanted to be left there with him. He was sure that his cousin was at ends when it comes to them visiting and her not wanting to leave. He tried everything to get her to come home.

"I didn't know that Shisui was your guys' cousin." Naruto commented, scaring the Uchiha to the point he automatically closed the book. Raising a fine blond eyebrow, he handed the glass of water and sat down in the chair. "What's wrong? It's not like your reading porn."

Itachi rolled his eyes at Naruto's choice of words. Taking a drink of the water which seemed to sooth his throat a little bit, he opened the journal and looked for where he left off. "Yeah. Shisui's our cousin on our mother's side."

"I just thought he was a family friend or something like that."

Shaking his head at the assumption, the Uchiha looked over at the blond haired man then the clock. Visiting hours were almost over with, which he didn't want. "So why did you fall for Deidara?"

Naruto swore he felt something cold race down his back at the topic that the Uchiha brought up. Smiling wearily, he tried to figure out how to get out of this. Knowing that his friend would bring it up continuously until he answered, he sighed. "I'm not sure. Maybe because he looked like a girl. Wait, how do you know Iwa-sensei?"

"I went through school with the guy. He was a couple grades behind me. I had art class with him a couple of times. He seemed more of the type that would sculpt instead of do chemistry. He used to get teased because of his facial features." Itachi explained as he went to the place he left off.

_I just said that it went fine, which I had homework to do and he nodded. I wanted to tell him, bad, but it just wouldn't get out of my lips. It was like my body was afraid to let my parents overhead but they weren't even in the house at the moment. So I guess I'll have to find a way out to tell him._

_I don't want him to be in the dark about this but I have a feeling he will be. He told me a long time ago that I can tell him anything but I just can't tell him about this. I wish it wasn't this hard to do._

"Hey Itachi." Naruto pipped in, letting the silence break away. Seeing the man look up at him, his hands closing the book, he forced a smile onto his face.

"What is it?"

Letting his gaze go around the room, his fear getting to him. Even if the man just broke up with his previous lover, he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. Of course he could help him out with his illness but would Itachi be willing to do that. "How about you move in with me?"

It wasn't expected of the blond Namikaze to say something like that. Itachi should have expected him to say something unexpected since he used to do that when he was growing up. Smiling a little, the sable eyed man looked at the book. It sounded like a good plan since he didn't have to worry about being alone. Then he wouldn't worry his mother to death. It seemed perfect.

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. I was just think that with you being ill and everything . . . that you would want to be at a place where there was someone else. Well . . . so you can get help if you need it."

"I would like that." Itachi replied with a smile on his lips. It hurt to know that he was leaving the apartment that had so many memories. He had to move on though; no matter how much time he had left he had to live his life to the fullest. Reaching over and taking the blond's tan hand, it made his own pop out. "You'll have to get info from Kisame."

"Why?" Naruto whined at the thought.

"Because he knows what to do if something happens to me." Itachi stated calmly but his nerves were acting up. There were a lot of things that could happen to him and it scared him. The fluid build up was one of those things that made him fear death because it was going to be premature.

"Fine. I'll do it because it's you." Naruto complained and folded his arms, drawing his hand away from the Uchiha. Looking over at him, seeing the smile stretching the lips, he returned it anyway.

No matter what happened to the Uchiha, he would love him for who he was. Itachi was kind, friendly, which was something he wanted in a person. He enjoyed the older man's company to the point it might seem stalkerish to some. It made him want to laugh at that moment but didn't. He just enjoyed the man's company and those feelings evolved into something that made him wish he was with the sable eyed man for the rest of his life.

"Sir visiting hours are over. You have to leave, please." A nurse said sweetly as she popped her head in.

Naruto and Itachi broke out of the daze they were in. It seemed like time didn't exist with them when they were around the other person. As they returned a smile to the other, Naruto rose from the chair.

"Hey Naruto, tell your parents I said hi. I miss seeing your mother and having her Dengaku." Itachi said. He was glad that his and Naruto's mothers were friends from school or else he might not know this man.

Nodding, the blond Namikaze left the Uchiha even if it hurt to think about it.

Sighing and leaning back, his hands brushing against the book's binding, Itachi looked at the ceiling. There was something else that bothered him besides the fact that he was dying prematurely. It had to deal with Naruto because his heart would stir like when he first saw Kisame. It bothered him. He didn't want to fall in love again because if he did die then he would be leaving someone with a pain that would never heal. That wound wouldn't be able to heal because there was no medicine to cure it.

It bothered him that this was happening. He just didn't want to be infatuated with someone again.

Itoko: Cousin

Dengaku: One of Japan's oldest ways of cooking with Miso. To make it, meat or vegetables are grilled on a skewer, then coats the food with a sweet miso sauce and grills it for a second time.

***sighs* One day to complete, even if my muses wanted to watch the Full Metal Alchemist movie that I borrowed from the library. Yes my library is so cool now that it carries anime along with manga. *jumps for joy* Please review, favorite, fan art, and/or alert.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Even into the night, Naruto couldn't shake the feeling that settled into his stomach. Part of him was afraid that something would happen to Itachi, making that part of him that loved the man ache. He was scared that he would love the object of his affections to the illness that ravished his body.

"So how's Itachi-san doing?" His father's voice made him want to jump but kept the urge away from his nerves.

Meeting the sapphire eyes of the older Namikaze, Naruto tried to force a smile onto his face but felt like it shouldn't be there. It had to be his feelings toward Itachi dying. It just made him realize more and more that he was losing that last link to Sasuke.

"Naruto? How's Itachi?" Minato repeated as he waved a hand in front of his son's face. Getting nothing from the blond, his eyebrows connected and looked at the auburn haired woman that wa siting beside him.

"What? Gomen. I was just thinking about something." Naruto said in a sulking manner. Looking at the two that were looking at him with a bit of worry laced in the sapphire eyes, he tried to smile once more but got nothing.

"How's Itachi doing?"

"In the hospital. He got fluid in the lungs the other day. He should be getting out soon, I hope. He also said for me to tell you guys hi and that he misses dengaku from you oka-san." Naruto repeated what was stored in his mind. Looking at the two, seeing the eyes still looking at him with worry, he sighed. "Maybe I should go."

Kushina shook her head and grabbed a hold of her son's arm. Watching her youngest look back, she tried to smile with it coming out as weak. "Naruto we're just worried about you. That's all."

"Nande?"

The Namikaze woman sighed and looked at the table that separated her from her baby. At least that's what he was to her. "We're just concerned since Itachi's health is declining. We don't want to see you in a depression like Mikoto-chan."

"Are you trying to say that you're afraid of me committing suicide or something? I won't do that! I refuse. I'm not desperate to end things like that. I want to see what I have in the future. I might be able to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and possibly have a family with them."

Minato knew that Naruto would rather spend his time with a guy instead of a woman. He had to listen to his son rant at him when he was in high school. It was like the younger blond was afraid that he would not be accepting by his own father. Sighing, he wanted to lay his forehead against the wooden surface but didn't do it.

"We're just worried that's all. You're really close to Itachi-san. We know that."

Naruto took a breath to calm himself before snapping at the two people that raised him. Luckily he had parents that understood him for who he was. They knew that he was unique in his own way, which included falling in love with the same sex instead of the opposite gender. "I hope so."

Kushina tried to smile when she heard the front door open and her head turning to take in the auburn hair that was cut to the point it was a shaggy. It covered his ears, hiding them while his brunette eyes stared at the three of them. "Thanks for joining us Kurama."

Naruto whined in his throat at the thought of his brother sitting at the table. He never really got along with him. He enjoyed pulling pranks and gardening while Kurama spent his time looking at business and other things that seemed boring to the blond. Watching his brother sit down in the seat next to him, Naruto felt an itch in his skin at the thought of his brother being next to him.

"Why did you want me here exactly? All you said was it was important and hung up." Kurama complained as he ran a hand through his hair. Blinking and glancing at his sibling from the corner of his eye, he tried to not comment on how his life was going.

"Because wouldn't it be nice if we had a family get together every once and while instead of us having dinner at your place one night and at Naruto's the next." The older Namikaze commented as he closed his eyes. It felt like today was going to be long.

"Fine. Find anyone yet Naruto or are you still sulking because of Sasuke-kun's death?" Kurama questioned as he looked over at the blond that was a few inches shorter that he was.

Whining, Naruto gripped his pants and tried to avoid looking at the man that he wanted to look up to but couldn't. It even pissed him off when the older Namikaze went to the point like Sai but it seemed meaner than the guy he worked with.

"Well?"

"Its fine." Naruto muttered and looked to the dinner that made his stomach roll. He didn't feel like eating any more because of the fact that his brother was there.

"Let me guess. The girl dumped ya." Kurama commented.

Naruto rolled his eyes and rose from the table, excusing himself. He had to get away from the auburn haired man before he felt like he was going insane. Closing the door behind him, feeling the tickles of the breeze, Naruto felt his body relax again.

Kurama didn't know what was going on in his brother's life because of how strained the relationship was. Even though they were brothers, the blond haired man couldn't tell his brother the truth that he preferred dicks. Sasuke's death made it harder because of the fact that Kurama didn't see eye to eye with Naruto on the issues of gay rights.

"Naruto. Something the matter?" Kushina chimed in as she poked her head out to look at her youngest son.

Turning back, the sapphire eyed man shook his head. He didn't want to lie to the woman but at times it seemed best to.

"You know you can tell me what's going on. Is it about Kurama being here?" She pipped in with an eyebrow raised. She had a feeling that her son was scared of letting his brother know that he didn't enjoy women's company in the bed. "It has to be about Sasuke, right?"

"Oka-san. I'm just scared. Yeah, I know he doesn't really care about gay rights but what would he do if he found out I was gay? I'm afraid that he'll shun me more than ever. I don't want anything of what Sasuke had to go through to happen again. But it is."

She pursed her lips a bit and walked out, closing the door behind her. She didn't know what to do because she barely knew her oldest child. Wrapping her arms around Naruto, feeling his body relaxing, she smiled. "You have to remember something. Being gay isn't a choice. It's a bodily function that people go through. Be happy. Live your life for you and Sasuke. I'm sure he would want that."

Naruto nodded and looked at the sky that was painted a multitude of colors by the setting sun. He'll have to trust his mother on that. He'll have to trust the words that she said to him, hoping that they didn't come as the opposite of what she was meaning.

"Now let's have dinner like how we used to."

"Like we used to was when I ate at the corner because Kurama scared me so much. He still scares me." Naruto blurted out as the memories of dinner with his family filled his mind.

Sighing and letting her shoulders fall, she grabbed hold of his shoulders and forced him back into the house. Inwardly she was worried about this since Naruto had a point. It made her wish that the two would get along but it never happened.

Settling down in a chair, Naruto kept his gaze away from his sibling, hoping that he wouldn't turn his attention to the blond. The only thing he wanted to do was see how Itachi was doing, wanting to be next to the Uchiha. This feeling he had when he thought or was near the sable haired man made him feel like he was dizzy.

Part of him wished that he forgot about the man because he knew that Itachi was out of his league. Then again, he never let that stop him before. He'll just have to hope for the best; the best being that Itachi got better instead of worse.

**A bit of a slow, fillerish chapter. I'm not sure why I made Kurama Naruto's brother. Please review, fan art, favorite, and/or alert.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Groaning at the thought of going through the process of being discharged, the doctor making sure there wasn't anything else to keep him from going home and getting into the wheelchair made him want to whine like a child.

As he was wheeled to the front of the large building, his mother pushing him and his father walking beside them, he looked around.

"So has Kisame or anyone visited you when you were in here?" Mikoto tried to make conversation with her son but it seemed as hard as talking to Sasuke when he was alive. Even thinking back when she tried to get him to talk to her hurt because he might have been reaching out silently.

"Yeah. Kisame-san is moving to the United States next week or so." Itachi answered and looked up at his mother to see a smile that usually told him that she was having another bout of depression. It worried him – a lot.

"Anyone else?" Fugaku questioned as he opened the door for his wife and son, seeing the slight irritation in his son's eyes. He knew that he hated being in the wheelchair but rules were rules.

"Naruto."

"He did? I haven't seen him in a long while. I heard that he finally got a job at a building. I forget what he does now but Kushina-chan said something about it. Hm? I guess I'll have to ask her again when I see her."

"How is he?" The other Uchiha asked as he slowed his stride to match his family's even if the family was incomplete.

"He offered to let me move in with him so he could at least keep an eye on my health. That's what Kisame-san basically did." There was feeling in his stomach that he didn't think that he should have brought it up at that moment. Feeling the movement stop a few feet away from the car, Itachi looked over at his parents and raised an eyebrow.

"Why? I thought we agreed to have you come home so I can watch you." Mikoto asked with her eyes staring at her only son and tried to smile. She couldn't believe it but her son was a grown man. He had a right to do what he wanted even if she didn't agree to them.

"You guys done enough as it is. You need to relax and not worry about it."

Truth was that he never really told his parents that there was something serious between him and Kisame. They both lied to them, saying that they were friends when it was more of a lover type of relationship. He was afraid that his parents might do something rash if he ever said anything. Then again, he might be able to spill his guts when it came time to dying.

"No, you need to be in the comfort of your family. You'll be less stressed that way." She started to protest but watched as her only living son looked up and stared at her. She recognized it from anywhere because it reminded her so much of when Fugaku was trying to convince her or someone about something. Sighing, she shut herself up, knowing that it was almost impossible to get to her son.

"When are you going to be doing that?"

"I'm not sure. He has to go through all the information with Kisame-san before anything happens."

"What do you mean I have to stick this in his ass!" Naruto screamed as he pointed at the needle that the tattooer was holding up. It made him want to run to the hills since he wasn't fond of doctors.

Rolling his eyes that were colored instead of the regular green, Kisame set it down and watched as the younger man went from tense to relax again. Reaching for it again, he watched as the blond tensed once more but stopped playing around.

"You're not answering me!"

"It's just a little antidote in case something causes his lungs to get inflamed. You don't want him dying do you?" Kisame questioned with his eyes narrowing at the blue-eyed man across from him.

"No! Not at all! It's just that do I have to shove his pants down or shove it through the clothing?" The Namikaze asked with an eyebrow raised and he eyed the thin metal that pierced skin.

"You'll have to pull his pants down. It'll probably get stuck if you try to shove it through his clothing." Reaching for a stack of papers, he handed them over to the blond and watched as he flipped through them. "It's a list of medication that he has, contacts in case you can't get a hold of his parents. Then there's anything else that might be important."

Nodding, the blond set it in his backpack that he still carried around in case someone wanted to give him something. Looking back over and squeaking, he stared at the needle that seemed to enjoy terrorizing him.

"Will you quit fooling around Kisame? I didn't expect you to be the type that would torment guests. Maybe you should be a domineer or something like that you sadist bastard." Itachi chimed in as he walked sluggishly to the couch and flopped down onto it. Laying his head back, he swore he could sleep like this before his neck decided to hurt.

"You're no fun. Fine one more time." The Hoshigaki man stated and shoved the needle at the blond, watching him cower into the plush cushions. Looking back and waving at the others that were at the door, he worked on handing the things to the blond and sighed.

"So when you're leaving?"

"In order to get everything set up, I'll be leaving in a couple of days. I know I said next week but there's always a chance that those bastards don't have my things set up yet. If they don't then they got another thing coming." The blue haired artist replied and got up to stretch.

"Okay. So when is Naruto helping Itachi move?" Mikoto asked as her attention was directed to the blond that looked up with a start before pushing the taller man out of the way to give her a hug. Smiling a little, she squeezed him back.

"Anytime when he's ready." Naruto chirped. "I can't wait to have him over."

"Oh, he's gotta tell that to everyone so they don't come here. You know what that means." The older Uchiha man said watching as his son paled at the thought.

"I gotta go see Shisui and everyone else." Itachi groaned as he thought back to seeing his cousin's daughter who made him wonder if she had a childhood crush on him or something. Looking over at them, he questioned, "can't I just text him or call him about it?"

"Nope."

With that, Itachi was left with the blond and his ex. Sighing and laying back into the couch, he looked over at the tattooer that was watching the news as if it was something entertaining. Shaking his head, he got up and went to get him something to drink.

"Don't you have a brother?" Kisame asked.

"What's it to you?" Naruto hissed as he inched away from the man that towered over him. Blinking and staring at him, he forced a smile onto his face before he tried to get away. "Yeah so?"

"Does he know his way around California?"

"I don't know. I rarely talk to the guy." Naruto growled as he felt weight come down onto the other side of the couch. Looking over as Itachi took a sip of water, he smiled a little. "Sasuke was more of a brother than Kurama."

"Why do you want to know Kisame?" Itachi asked as he looked over at the two.

"Just wanted to know so I wouldn't feel so lost. That's all." With that, the tattoo artist left the apartment.

Naruto stood up and stretched, slinging his bag onto the floor with a dull thud and sat back down. Curling up with his feet on the couch, he looked around the room and pulled out his phone. "I can't believe that it's been almost eleven years since Sasuke passed away."

It didn't feel like that to Itachi. It still felt like it happened yesterday along with him finding out that he was dying. Groaning at the thought, he had a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It just made him wonder what the woman would say or repeat to him. He was sure that she caught wind of what happened to him. "Yeah. We'll have to pay tribute to him again."

Naruto nodded and looked over at the sable haired man that was sitting by him. He missed seeing him so lively and energetic like when Sasuke was around. It just made him realize that the death of his friend made his other friend act like this. This was one of those times that he cursed Sasuke for doing what he did.

"Are you hungry?" Itachi questioned since the silence seemed a little too much to him. Glancing over at the sapphire eyed man, he saw him staring off into space. Tapping his shoulder, making his friend jump and look over, he sighed. "Are you hungry?"

"A little but I can get something at the gas station before going home." Naruto didn't want his infatuation to get up and get him something. It was best that he rested but he knew that the Uchiha would do something that didn't follow the orders given to him.

"Its fine. We got a couple pudding cups or something if you want some." Itachi hid his complaint in the words as he got up. His back felt sore because of the needle that entered him to get the fluid away. Getting into the kitchen, he dug through the cabinets and found what he wanted. He was in that mood to have pudding, making him feel like a kid again.

"You don't have to do that Itachi." Naruto argued as he went into the kitchen as the man dug around for a spoon. "I mean I'm not really that hungry."

"I rather not have a guest leave hungry."

Sighing, Naruto grabbed his own thing of pudding and spoon and stuck the metal object in his snack. Rolling his eyes as his friend as he hopped up onto the counter with a groan, he stuck some of the chocolate food into his mouth. "Are you always like this?"

"Yeah. Oka-san told me to treat me guests and friends like they were family. That means serving food if they are hungry." The Uchiha stated and reached over, switching on a radio that he put in there for when he was doing dishes and leaned against the cabinets.

Setting down his pudding, looking at the half-eaten snack, Naruto glanced around the smaller room. He was almost convinced that Sasuke was there at that moment but it was the air conditioner. "Hey Itachi."

"Hm?"

Instead of saying anything, Naruto walked the short distance before standing in front of the older man. Smiling a little, his mind focusing on a lot of things that were going on, he leaned on the ill man. "I miss him."

"Of course. We all do." Itachi said as he looked at the blond hair that blocked his sight of the azure eyes. Sighing a little and putting down his finished cup that once held pudding, he wrapped his arms around the blond that was willing to put up with him.

Naruto didn't want to give up the memory of his friend because of how much Sasuke meant to him. He wanted to keep the times that he spent with the Uchiha alive but it was a hard thing to do when the other person was gone. Closing his eyes, Naruto tilted his head up and opened them to stare at the Uchiha.

"Do you want to start packing things now?" the sable eyed man asked with a small smile on his lips. Staring at the eyes that his friend had that was almost covered by blond hair, he reached up and brushed them away. "Unless you have work."

"No. Today's my day off luckily for me but not for Sai." Naruto snickered at the thought of leaving the extremely pale man with all the paperwork.

"Oh."

Looking back at the man in front of him, Naruto leaned up, pressing his lips against the pale ones gently. He was afraid that he might hurt his friend and crush. Feeling the embrace tighten, drawing him closer, Naruto deepened the kiss that meant so much. It felt good to let his feelings out, especially to the man that they were for.

Something started to ring, making Naruto whined as he pulled away. Backing away, watching his crush hop off the counter and walk out of the room to get the phone, he felt like hitting something. Instead, he threw away the trash while his lips tingled at the sensation he gave them.

It felt almost perfect to him. Even Itachi swore it felt like that while he answered the phone that he wanted to get rid at that moment.

***sighs* A nice warm day when I worked on them and I held myself in my room. Luckily with the window open and a breeze. I swear Ohio's weather is bipolar and I hate it! Now any thoughts or comments I like to make? Hm? I don't think so. Well besides asking for comments, thoughts, fanart or anything else you would like to do or make.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"So what exactly happened to you a few days ago? I heard that you got fluid in the lungs Itachi-san." Tsunade chimed with it coming out as a growl also. Raising a blond eyebrow at the Uchiha sitting in front of her, she watched as he fidgeted with everything he could get his hands on.

"Yeah I did but I'm better now."

"Better my ass. I have to increase the dosage you have on some of that medication you're taking. Do you think I want to do this? I don't want to see my patient die like this. You know that pretty soon you'll be put on the transplant list and you better pray to whoever you worship that you get a set of lungs." She felt like ranting at him which wasn't what a doctor was supposed to do to their patient.

Nodding and bowing his head, Itachi looked at his lap as he held on his oversized shirt. He didn't want that to happen because he was looking forward to a lot of things that were going to go on in his life. He was looking forward to spending his time with Naruto. He wanted to read more of Sasuke's journal and understand why his brother did what he did.

"So the only thing I'll be doing is increasing the dosage on them. While you're here, I want to take a look at your lungs." The long-haired woman said, her gaze turning almost solemnly at the thoughts that she put in the younger man's head. "All I have to say is that you look to the bright side."

"I am. Well I'm trying to." He answered, his mind turning to all the things that he wanted to happen in his life. He didn't want Sasuke to commit suicide but he did. He lost his only brother because he was gay and someone tormented him to death. Closing his eyes and lifting his shirt up, letting the woman tap him and listen to his breathing, he sighed when he was supposed to.

"They sound clear but who knows when that'll happen again. Who are you going to be staying with since Kisame left for the States?"

"How would you know that?" Itachi asked. He wanted to raise his voice and glare at the woman but didn't. He didn't feel like doing something like that. Instead he just sat there, letting her do the tests she wanted to do on him while he was sitting there.

"I'm friends with Naruto's parents. So whose the lucky guy?" She asked at the end as she leaned over to stare at the sable eyes of the man. Smiling a little, patting his back a little since it was bruised by the needle from when he visited the hospital.

"Naruto is. He volunteered to do it." Itachi answered and pulled his shirt on, taking the slips of paper that had his dosage increases. Looking over at the woman that was smiling, he knew she had something to say to that.

"That's good. He'll keep an eye on ya. He is after all my godchild." She laughed and reached over and opened the door for the dying man. Following him out to set up his next appointment, she knew that he was dreading seeing her again.

Taking the reminder card, he walked out of the building and was greeted by Shisui who offered to take him to the appointment since Naruto had to work and Kisame was already gone for the United States. Sighing and sitting down in the passenger seat, he felt something start to tug on his hair.

"Kimi will you quit doing that to your cousin? He's not feeling good." Shisui said and looked back at his daughter.

"But oto-san. He's fun to play with. I love playing with his hair more than yours. You're bald to me." She said then stuck her tongue out at her father.

Rolling his own sable eyes, Shisui started the car and looked out of the corner of his eye to see his family staring at the slips of paper that he held. Knowing how depressed the guy was since he found out that he was dying prematurely, he wanted to cheer up the guy but didn't know how. If only Sasuke was around then maybe, the younger Uchiha would be able to do that. "So what did she say?"

"The same thing except that she upped some of the medicine." Itachi muttered and leaned back into the seat. Letting his free hand hang out the window, his eyes watching the city pass by, he sighed. "How the heck did you get a car anyway?"

"Job. And Yukiko wanted me to get one because she doesn't trust the bullet train for some reason. I swear that she's too cautious about things."

"Well it doesn't help with Kimi either." Itachi added and looked at the child from the mirror. Smiling a little, he hoped that he was around to see her get a sibling. "So have you been working on giving her a brother or sister yet?"

"It-Itachi! What the fudge? Why are you even asking me that?" Shisui inquired loudly, causing Kimi to laugh at the subject that she knew next to nothing about. Looking back at the child, he rolled his eyes and looked out the windshield.

"Because I felt like it."

With that, chatter went on with the ill Uchiha dropping off the prescriptions and waiting for them to be filled. Paying and taking them, he swore he felt tired all of a sudden. It had to be because of all the excitement that was going on with him. If he considered being ill and heading for his death excitement.

Walking up to the apartment that was probably getting packed up, Itachi sighed as Kimi rode his back, twirling his hair around. Handing his cousin the key, he bounced the child, hearing her squeal and giggle. It made him wish that he could do it again when Sasuke was a kid. When he walked into the room, he swore chaos just broke out.

"Naruto what are you doing?" Itachi asked finally after watching the blond busying himself with packing that was making a box look like it was about to explode.

Perking up and smiling like a fool, like when he was a kid and pulling a prank, he stopped trying to shove an article of clothing into the box. Setting it down, he walked over and poked Kimi in the nose, getting a squeak from her. "I thought I told ya I was going to help you pack."

"No, you didn't." Itachi stately bluntly and set down his cousin's child. Walking over to the box, he poked it, watching the top get blown and scattering various articles of clothing around the room. Looking back at the Namikaze, he shook his head. "I think you should have left this until I got back."

"I was trying to help out." Naruto whined but turned his attention to the kid that was tugging on his orange muscle shirt.

"You look like a girl to me." Kimi blurted out, making Shisui stop and glare at his child like she was something that broke on him. Sighing and scooping up the sable eyed girl, he spun her around before blowing a raspberry on her belly.

"Let's go find something for you to do." He stated and walked out of the room to find something that might occupy his daughter's time.

Raising an eyebrow and pointing at the two, Naruto knew who the guy was. Blinking, he turned his attention to the Uchiha that he knew so well. "Who exactly was that? I know that was Shisui-kun but who was that with him?"

"His daughter Kimi. I thought you knew he had a kid." Itachi said softly as he picked up the clothes that were blown all over the room because of the blond's over packing. As he picked up the shirts, tossing them onto his shoulder, he grabbed the socks and underwear that were making him feel a little embarrassed.

"I don't remember. Unless I wasn't paying attention."

After tossing the socks and underwear into the box, the Uchiha started to fold the shirts again, setting them into the box after that. As he did this, he glanced up at Naruto who was picking up the pants, shorts, and other clothing that were sitting on the floor. All he could image was him kissing the blond like yesterday. It caused his heart to flutter at the thoughts. "How was work?"

"Same old thing. Sai giving me too much paperwork because all he wants to do is get off early to go to a nude art class. I don't really understand the guy. He wants to work but he doesn't want to do it there. Stupid bastard." Naruto complained and started to fold the pants.

"Then why don't you tell him that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm buried under mounds of paperwork that seems to never cease. It pisses me off that he does that." Naruto grumbled and tossed another folded pair into the box.

Shrugging at the complaining, Itachi tossed the last shirt into the box and walked over to help the sapphire eyes man with the pants. Part of him just wanted to read the journal that Sasuke left but couldn't because of having company and in the middle of moving.

"Hey Itachi. What do you want for dinner tonight? Take out or what?" Naruto inquired as he looked over at the Uchiha next to him. Smiling at the presence that was with him, he couldn't help but picture Sasuke somewhere in his friend. Tossing another pair of sweats into the box, he felt something grab his hand.

That question didn't matter to Itachi because of the fact that he didn't want to think of anything but Naruto. Ever since that kiss that Naruto started, he wanted to continue it even if his lungs begged him not to go too far. He wanted to though. He wanted to feel like a regular guy again even if he was dying inside. "Who cares? Surprise me."

"Sure."

Itachi smiled, setting down a pair of shorts onto his lap and grabbed hold of the blond's face gently. He knew that he surprised him because of the jump that he felt and the quick glances that Naruto was sending him. "You know something Naruto. You left something unfinished."

"That sounds really corny." Naruto blurted out, hearing both of them laugh at his words. It did sound corny to him but he was a sucker for it at times.

"So?" The long-haired man questioned before pressing his lips gently against the Namikaze's. It felt right to have it happen. It felt like he wasn't dying and was a regular guy that was falling in love with someone. That someone being his deceased brother's best friend who latched onto him when Sasuke had committed suicide.

They both had a pain that the Uchiha had caused when he took his own life. They were both trying to heal the wounds that he left in the wake of what they now knew was being bullied to death. It shed a light to them; telling them that it was an epidemic because people don't open their eyes like they should to things that is becoming known. It even made them realize who they were as people in a world that had a lot of people that enjoyed hating and destroying peoples' lives.

"Itachi?"

"Hm?"

Looking into the sable eyes that were framed by corrective lenses, Naruto smiled. He didn't want to leave the kiss where it was because it felt so weak. He wanted to add more force to it, to show the Uchiha how much he had loved him for so many years. It made him wish at times that he would fall for someone else instead of chasing a wild goose but now it didn't feel like that. It felt like he actually got the prize that he so desperately wanted for so long.

"What is it Naruto?" The sable haired man asked in a whispered, feeling his thoughts jumble up once more by a soft, quick kiss that the blond gave him. Taking a breath and letting it out quickly, he smiled.

"I hope you realize that I love you." Naruto confessed, his smile coming out weary. It seemed too early to be saying something like that but he wanted it out so it didn't bother him like when he was keeping it in.

Nodding, Itachi pressed his pale forehead against the tan one of his friend that helped him with so many things. Sighing, he stared at the azure eyes that were focused on him the entire time, making him smile more and more. It made him realize how Sasuke felt when he was falling in love for the first time with someone that didn't know about it. He just wasn't sure if it was true or not.

Someone cleared their throat, making the two back away from the other. Shaking his head lightly, Shisui walked over to the two and smiled. "No one told me that there was something going on between you two."

"That's because there isn't anything. Yet." Naruto added at the last moment. Looking up at the standing Uchiha, he smirked and went on working on getting the box organized. All the while he felt the heat of the blush on his face, telling him how embarrassed he was to find someone catching him kissing.

Itachi looked at his cousin with a raised eyebrow. "Where's Kimi?"

"In the study. She's watching a cartoon that's educational. It'll keep her busy unless she gets thirsty or something." Shisui answered and flopped down onto the couch. Leaning back and staring at the place, he huffed.

"When are you giving her a sibling?" Naruto blurted out, his attention held by the other Uchiha.

"Why do you people keep asking about that?" Shisui hissed.

**So I'm pretty happy with this chapter even if it's like a filler chapter to me. I'm not sure if I got Shisui in character either so bear with me. Please comment.**

**Oh, forgot to mention! If you have a facebook, I made a page for ya'll to like. Its Neko Hoshi Okami Hime/Neko Hoshi. I try to update on it as much as I can with information as to how many chapters I've completed. I hope you like it.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

A sigh escaped Naruto at the thought of having to work the next day after helping Itachi trudge everything he owned to his place. It made him think that the boxes were endless by the time dusk started to settle in around them. Laying his head down on the desk, ignoring everything but the radio that was going on, playing Starships by Nicki Minaj who he hadn't even heard of until this song came out.

"Oi Namikaze-san. Here's more paperwork." Sai's unwelcome voice brought Naruto out of the daze he was settling into.

Looking up from where his head laid, he started at the pile of papers that his coworker was holding. Shaking his head, he sat up straighter and got out of the chair. Glancing at the clock, the blond haired man sighed and looked back at the ebony haired man. "I'm not signing those. You can sign them. I have better things to do today."

"Like what?" Sai's question didn't bother him since it was a rare thing for him to take the day off or go home early.

"Like I said, I have better things to do today." Naruto repeated and walked pass the man after gathering his things and shutting everything off. Looking back at the confused pale man, he smirked but let it fall back into a thin line when Sai turned around to look at him. "You can sign them yourself."

He wasn't in the mood to listen to the guy argue with him. Marching off and passing a few that were busy talking and doing other things, he smiled. It felt good to not put up with Sai's crap. He should do it more often. Nodding at the thought, he entered the elevator and just wanted to get home and hope that Itachi is feeling well.

A yawn escaped his mouth as he strolled around the house with a coffee cup in his hand and his favorite slippers on his feet. Sitting down and ignoring the clutter that was his things, he grabbed his deceased brother's journal and flipped to the next entry from the one he had read.

_Dear Journal (that does sound better)_

_I wish I could get home schooled or do something about this because it feels like I can't keep it up anymore. This secret feels like its weighing down on me and a few noticed something's changed about me. I don't want them to notice it but it looks like they have._

_Lee asked if I was ill and I told him no. He didn't listen – like always – and went ranting about making a spicy curry for me so I can get better. That led him into talking about making this drink from these herbs that he uses to stay healthy. I swear he needs to be put in the psych ward with his fitness craze. Then again, he'll be joined by our P.E. teacher._

_Then I had Kakashi, whose our English teacher, ask me if everything was all right. I told him yes and he asked if there was something going on at home that I wanted to talk about. I told him no. He kept asking me questions that I hate being asked. He seriously needs to get a life with his prying. I don't care if he's looking out for his students. I just want to be left alone._

_So when lunch came around, thankfully, I was able to escape the questions from Lee and his little rants by stealing (borrowing) Kiba's Ipod. It felt better listening to music instead of listening to that health nut yack all day about eating this or that._

Itachi smiled. At least his brother had friends that were willing to put up with him or even annoy him to the point. He couldn't remember the last time he was with the people that were his friends during school. Sighing and letting the smile drop, he stared at the page. It made him realize that it's been a long time since he left school behind him. It hurt. He missed his teachers and everything else that went on during school. The only thing he didn't miss was the drama that seemed to go on constantly there.

Shaking his head at that thought, he looked up at the clock and saw that it was a little pass two. Naruto wouldn't be home for another hour or so. Taking a breath and letting it out as a sigh, he went back to reading.

_Home sounded so good to me once final bell rang. I actually ran to my locker and got my things together so I didn't have to put up with Lee and his stuff. Even though I had homework, I practically ran home with it slung on my back. I didn't want to miss my sanctuary because of the fact that it felt so good. Let's face it: being home can't be beat unless it's the middle of winter and you're stuck inside. Then you can beat it._

_So when I got home, Shisui was there talking with Oka-san. It was weird because I didn't see Kimi running around. So I asked them where she was. Shisui said that she was with her mother. Then I asked where Nii-san was. He was out with a couple of friends._

_So I went to my room, did my homework, studied for a bit and then I was bored. I didn't have anything to do. It sucked. So I got online and started going through random things like catching up on the manga that I was reading but hadn't for a while. Catch up on the anime that I've been missing since it was on after I got to bed and I didn't have a tv in my room._

_Afterwards, I went out for a walk. It was a nice day so there was no harm there._

The door opened at that moment, making Itachi look toward the hall, causing him to get out of the comfortable sitting position he was in and walk to see who it was. If it was Kushina or Minato, they would have said something but there was only silence. Poking his head out, he smiled at the blond that had his back turned to him. "You're home early."

Naruto perked up and looked back the best he could at the Uchiha. He turned the smile and continued to slip out of his shoes. "Yeah. I decided to go home early since Sai does it every day. He wasn't fond of it. I have a feeling I'll be hearing about it tomorrow but who cares."

Itachi chuckled and walked out into the hall with the book in hand. His finger stuck in the place where he was reading. When his blond friend turned, he swore the smile got larger.

Pressing his lips quickly to the pale ones, Naruto watched as the sable eyes widened at the touch. Breaking the touch, he looked away, almost embarrassed that he did what he did. "So how was your day?"

Itachi knew that his blond friend and crush was trying to avoid talking about that peck so he didn't say anything. Even if he wanted it to continue to something else, he couldn't do that thanks to his body. Letting out a small cough, Itachi fell in stride with the blond until they wound up in the kitchen. "It was slow. I didn't get up until later then usual."

Naruto nodded as he poured himself something to drink, his gaze stealing glances at the man. Closing the fridge door, he turned his full attention to the Uchiha. At least he was well, that was all that matter. Glancing at the journal that Itachi seemed to worship since it was the last thing that connected the both of them to Sasuke. "Did you start unpacking?"

Itachi shook his head. He figured he would do that with Naruto just so he didn't overexert himself. He didn't feel like hearing another lecture from Tsunade after she finds out he went to the hospital again. Looking out the window, the ebony haired man wanted to go out but he couldn't because of his body. He hated it. "I figured I would wait for you so you can help out. Except for my clothes."

"Naw, your no funny Ita!" Naruto complained, only to hear a chuckle come from his friend. Smiling at the sound that seemed so foreign coming from the Uchiha, he joined in.

As soon as he started laughing, coughs started to replace them. He wanted to have a good laugh though. It's been to long since he had and he missed it all. He missed being able to take a deep breath without having to cough it up afterwards.

Naruto stopped with his heart almost stopping at the sound of the coughs that were coming from the Uchiha. Walking over and holding him, feeling the coughs rack his body, he knew that something was bound to happen soon. There was that feeling in his stomach that made him think that and he prayed that nothing happened.

As the coughs died down, he felt sore all over again. Letting Naruto lead him to the living room to sit down, he smiled weakly. If this was how it was going to be then he would rather get the transplant done now – that is if he was lucky enough to get a pair. It was a rare thing and he knew that. He's done the research behind it.

Closing his eyes, he leaned back and felt something cold touch his hand. Opening them, he stared at the glass of water that was in the tan hands of his friend. Looking up and meeting the azure eyes, he tried to smile. There was that flutter in his heart again. Shaking that feeling off and taking a drink to sooth his sore throat, Itachi looked at the book that was still in his hand after all that. "So this Lee person thought Sasuke was sick?"

Naruto smirked at the topic and glanced at the bound paper. "Yeah. It was funny watching him fuss over him like he did. He was nicknamed mother hen after that by Kiba. I had a feeling that it had to do with him being gay and keeping it a secret. Guess I was right. I wished that he opened up to me about it."

"Sasuke was good about keeping things to himself. You should know that. You two were almost brothers except for the exchange of blood."

Naruto lowered his gaze to his lap where his hands rested. Itachi was right. They were like brothers with how close they were, even with the fights they had. He couldn't forget that because it was another thing that made it feel like Sasuke was still with them. He tried to smile but his lips wouldn't listen to him.

Opening the book and feeling Naruto lean onto him, he went to finish reading the papers or so that was left for the entry.

_I wasn't sure but I wanted to go to the park. I saw a few people I recognized there. Sai was trying to work on nature paintings this time and I didn't bother talking to him. He can be a real dick at times. I don't understand that guy._

_Well as I was walking, I wasn't really paying attention. It was weird because I usually pay attention. I ran into someone, a guy to be correct. He helped me up because my balance gone to the dogs for some reason. He was nice. He looked to be around my age, if not a year or two younger then me. His hair was red and he honestly looked like he was trying to be goth or something. He had guyliner around his eyes heavily._

_He started talking to me after that. I couldn't believe it that he was talking to me even if we were complete strangers. He started to talk about Pride Fest here which was a thing going on over in the United States. It was this big celebration of gays, lesbians, and everyone else that was a part of the LGBT and whoever supported them. It sounded awesome to go to._

_Even though we didn't know each other, he asked me out. I wasn't sure what to do. I mean we met just a few moments ago and he was already asking me out to a date. I said yes. It felt like the right thing to do._

It ended there, making Itachi continue to gap at the entry. His brother was dating someone. Looking over at the blond that was nestled beside him, he stared at the azure eyes once more. He wanted answers because he never heard of this. It hurt more knowing now that his brother was secretly dating someone then dying. "Did you know about this?"

"Not really. He said he met a guy and was going out. He didn't give out names or whatever. I wished he did because thinking back now. I knew the guy. He was in another school but I saw him at some of the athletic programs. His brother I think was on the volleyball team while his sister was a . . . runner. I think."

Itachi lowered his gaze to the closed journal again. He wanted to ask his name and he did. When he got his answer, he had to find the guy. He wanted to talk to him about Sasuke so he knew how his brother was when they saw each other. It was the least he could do so he could understand his deceased brother.

"I wish he did tell me. It makes me think that I wasn't a good friend to him," Naruto sighed. "He didn't say anything to you, did he?"

Itachi shook his head at the question. He had to get to know who his brother was even if he wasn't around. If he was lucky, his brother said who his boyfriends were in here and he'll hunt them down and ask them questions. It might bring back memories that might hurt if they heard about his death but he needed the unasked questions answered. Even if his body didn't want to work for him, he was going to get answers.

"I miss him Itachi-kun. I wish he was back here. I want my nii-san back so I can laugh again. So I can pull pranks on him again." Naruto rambled as he hugged the older man tightly, burying his face into his shirt. He didn't want to admit that he was crying because it was a rare thing for him to do. "I want him back. Why did he have to do what he did? I want my fucking questions answered."

Focusing his gaze on the crying blond, Itachi petted his head, trying to calm him down. It worked a little because he was hiccuping and trying to wipe away the snot with his sleeve until he reached for a tissue. He understood why Naruto was so hurt.

His questions weren't answered. He wanted – no demanded why his brother would commit suicide. Because of not being there, he didn't have someone to talk to like when they were kids. He didn't have someone that would support him like Sasuke did.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips gently onto the blond hair. He felt Naruto's hold tighten but it didn't bother him. As long as he knew Naruto was safe then he was happy. As he thought of that, he knew that he was falling in love with the Namikaze even if he didn't want to admit it because of him dying.

Sucking in a breath, Naruto looked up to see the charcoal eyes closed and his own tears falling onto the corrective lenses. Reaching up and pulling the glasses away, he watched as the crying eyes opened to him. Smiling a little, he didn't see it return and knew that the Uchiha was hurt.

After setting the glasses down, he wrapped his arms around the man again. It felt good to have someone comfort him when they knew what he went through because they knew Sasuke. Burying his face in the chest again, feeling the almost ragged breaths that were coming from him, he sighed. It felt better being in his arms then crying alone like he did for so many years. "If you're well enough next year, let's go to Pride Fest in Sasuke's honor."

"It sounds good to me." The Uchiha stated softly, feeling his lips get captured by the Namikaze's. Sighing and wrapping his own arms around the blond, he didn't want to let him go. It felt like a dream that he felt this happy. It felt like when he first met Kisame and their relationship was new.

He broke the kiss first, hearing the small whine come from the azure eyed man. Chuckling a little at the complaint, he leaned back into the couch. He prayed that he was even alive and well to be able to go to Pride Fest so he could understand how it felt to be around others that were like you. "Let's even bring a picture."

Naruto nodded with a smile and hugged the Uchiha more. He didn't want to let go. He never wanted to let go of this Uchiha because his heart told him not to.

**So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. A little fluff and hurt/comfort here and there. I've already got the ending already played out. I just gotta get through the rest of this to get to it.**


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you Ivy Moonlit Rose for the review. And Adam Lambert for giving the inspiration for this fanfic.

Chapter 13

Itachi sighed, his body laying in the bed that was brought with him. Staring at the ceiling that was staring back at him, he wanted to roll over. He wanted to fall asleep like he normally did.

He couldn't though. His mind was still reeling from that day. The way Naruto's tears scared him to death. The thought of seeing the Namikaze depressed over his brother's death was too much. He couldn't get his face out of his mind. The feeling of his body pressed against his, hugging him tightly.

Closing his eyes, picturing the blond with his arms around him, withering under his touch came to him, causing a blush to color his pale face. Coughing a little, his eyes opened and broke the image that he was treasuring. Turning his head, he stared at the window that still had some light of dusk pouring into it but it was dim. It told him more that night was approaching quickly.

Something pulled his attention, a knock on the door. He was tired so he told Naruto he was going to take a nap and that failed. He didn't take what he wanted but his mind reminded him that his heart was still willing to love even if his body was dying. Sitting up, he looked at the object and sighed, "come in."

Naruto popped his head in, his eyes still slightly red from the sobbing he was doing. Trying to keep that thought out of his mind, the blond smirked and waved a spatula. "Dinner's ready if you want some. Sorry if it's a little late but I was talking to oka-san."

Itachi nodded and crawled out of the bed that was comfortable. It still had that slight aroma of Kisame lingering to it but it didn't stir any desires like it used to. It was like his affections for the tattoo artist had switched off and were slowly turning on for the blond that was before him.

It caused him to think about the kiss that seemed so desperate but it didn't bother him. He wanted to protect him from the pains that his deceased brother was still causing. Smirking back, he followed the slightly shorter man into the dining room that had pictures of family members sitting on shelves or on the wall.

"There's fried rice. I got some soup if you want some. It's miso." Naruto explained as he pointed at each dish. Looking up, seeing the Uchiha's attention held by the pictures, he looked over and stared at them too. Walking over, he picked up one that was close to his heart.

"Which one is that?"

Naruto looked over at the sable haired man then back at the picture that he held in his hands. It was when they just entered high school. Sasuke was being the pouty self that he was with his arm slung around Naruto. Naruto was doing the same but had a smile on his face, making one stretch. "Our first day of high school."

Itachi nodded and walked over with a bowl of fried rice. Peering at the captured memory, he smirked at the usual reaction that they got from his brother when his picture was taken. It was rare for the deceased teen to smile. "Who's that?"

Naruto looked up at the picture that was pointed at with chopsticks. He hated that picture but he had to put it up so his parents didn't wonder. Looking at it as he hung on the wall, he sighed. "Kurama. My older brother."

"He looks completely different."

"That's because he went through that braces faze like almost everyone does. Let's eat." Naruto stated and walked away after setting the picture back on the shelf. Sitting down and dipping himself some rice, he started to eat.

Itachi had that gut feeling that Naruto wasn't fond of his brother but he didn't press. He didn't want the same man that let him live with him hate him for a while because he knew the Namikaze had a tendency of holding grudges. Sitting down and taking a bite of the rice, he glanced up at the blond that his heart ached for slightly.

"Oka-san and Oto-san will be here tomorrow around noon. She's going to be bringing some food so I told her to make part of that dish that you like so much." Naruto broke the silence that was between them. Looking up and seeing the Uchiha taking bites and looking around the room, he sighed a little. "Itachi-kun I'm sorry that I hurt you in anyway."

The raven eyed man that had corrective lenses shook his head lightly. He didn't feel hurt even if he wanted to ask what the matter was with the blond. He always thought that he was close with his brother but it looked like he wasn't. Looking up and meeting the azure eyes, he tried to smile but couldn't. "Its fine. It happens. Not everyone likes their siblings."

"Did-did you enjoy Sasuke's company?" Naruto inquired as he looked down at his dish, hoping that his eyes didn't ache from crying again.

"Yes. A lot. I didn't want to let him go at times." The Uchiha answered with a smile at the topic of his deceased sibling. He was going to have to drop flowers off again so he felt a little more love. "Can you tell me what happens in his journal?"

"No. You have to find out." Naruto answered quickly. It was best for the older man to find out what was going on. He didn't want to have him find anything else that was going to be like bombs to him. Shaking his head, he took a drink of his miso and looked at the man that was across the table.

He nodded and went on eating. That meant he had to read more. Closing his eyes and taking a couple more bites, he had the desire to read until the next day but his body wouldn't be able to stand it. He would be coughing like crazy and possibly throw himself back into the hospital.

"Have you taken your medicine yet?"

"Yes."

Naruto nodded softly and finished off his soup. Pushing away from the table, he took his dishes to the sink to be done later or tomorrow. Walking back into the dining room, he watched his infatuation stare at his food as if he was thinking about something. He wanted to ask but decided against it. It seemed perfect to just watch the man that he was in love with.

"Naruto-san have you ever gone out of the country before?" Itachi asked as he looked up at the azure eyed man that was staring at him. Setting down his dish, he let his gaze fall but go back to the man.

"No. Why?"

"I want to go out of the country if I get better." Itachi revealed but flinched at the harsh stare that was pointed at him.

"You will get better. There is no if to that. You will get better and you'll be able to do everything you want to do or use to do." Naruto growled. He didn't want to think about his crush dying from the disease that he had. Closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sighed. "I'm just trying to look out for you. I hope you realize this."

"I do." The Uchiha stated softly and finished eating. His mind seemed to always turn toward death since he found out he was dying. Taking a breath and pushing away from the table, he grabbed his dishes and set them in the sink. As he passed the younger man, he started to put everything away even if his body told him to relax and read what was going on in the journal. He didn't want to do that yet. He wanted to get everything settled first. He wanted to see Kushina again. He wanted to taste her cooking like when he was a kid. He wanted to fall in love with her dishes like he used to. It even made him wish that he was well enough to go around the country and go to the traditional cafes.

"So what do you want to do tomorrow after oka-san and oto-san leave?" Naruto inquired as he walked over and grabbed the rice. Seeing the Uchiha turn his attention to him, he tried to smile.

"I don't know. I want to find that guy that Sasuke saw. I want to get to know who otouto-san was since he hid who he really was." Itachi stated but he had to look around. He had to look at the friends that were on Sasuke's social page that was turned into a memorial. He was sure that he'll find the person there.

"He was at the funeral." Naruto said, remembering that day. It felt like yesterday. He felt like bawling again but he wasn't sure how his body would take it. It seemed too much to do something like that in one day. "He said to me that Sasuke was a really nice guy. Hey . . . does your parents know that he was gay?"

Itachi shook his head. Sasuke was good at hiding things like he was. It made him wonder if it was a genetic thing or he liked to copy him. Thinking back to when Sasuke was trying to copy him, he started to snicker. The thought of his kid brother was growing his hair out so it was like him, he laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?"

"Sasuke growing his hair out!" Itachi threw his head back at the memory. It felt so good to picture that in his mind. The thoughts of his sibling doing that along with using their mother's eyeliner pencil and drawing lines on his face just made him laugh harder.

"When did he do that?" Naruto questioned with an eyebrow raised at the random topic that the Uchiha brought up. He didn't remember Sasuke growing his hair out.

"It was before he started school. He was copying me in a lot of things and that was one of them. He wanted to grow his hair out so it was like mine. He even went as far as drawing lines on his face like mine. Oka-san was pissed at him!"

Naruto shook his head and pursed his lips. He couldn't really picture his brother like figure doing that. The Sasuke he knew so well was always frowning, keeping his arms folded and other things that made him think that his friend was trying to look depressed or something. "Hey Itachi do you feel anything toward me?"

Blinking at the question that was off topic, Itachi coughed as he calmed down. With a couple more coughs, he stared at the blond haired man that was staring at him with that gaze that told he was being serious. He wasn't playing around. Sighing and walking toward the Namikaze that he was slowly falling in love with, he smirked.

"Will you answer me because I want to know? Please." Naruto pleaded as he balled his hand and hit his fist lightly on the chest of the object of his affections. He wanted the answer that he wanted to know so badly. Blinking and staring at the sable eyes that were framed by lenses, he saw nothing that would give him his answer. All he saw was the blankness that every Uchiha had.

"Why did you ask me that Naruto-san?"

"Because I want to know. I have this feeling in my stomach that those kisses that we share are something else. I know that they are. What do I have to get the answer out of you? Prank ya? I'll do that as long as I get the answer I need to hear. I don't care if you don't like me because as long as your happy makes me happy." Naruto ranted as he let his eyes close and try not to picture the Uchiha that was in front of him. Itachi wouldn't leave his mind though. He was everything to him. He wanted to say something but words wouldn't form.

Sighing, Itachi stared at the man that was in front of him, letting his fist rest on his chest. Reaching up and stroking the scarred cheek for who knows what, he tried to smile. When the sapphire eyes opened and stared at him, he let a small smirk play on his lips. How could he answer him? He wasn't sure how to do that.

"What's your answer?"

"There's a lot of them. I feel like we're brothers. I feel that close to you Naruto-san. You mean that much to me and I can't help but feel drawn to you. Sasuke's lucky to have a friend like you by his side." The long-haired Uchiha answered as he stroked the cheek with his thumb, feeling the other's head lean into the touch. "Then there's the part of me that wants you. You are everything. You're doing a lot that others wouldn't do. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm falling in love with you."

"That's enough for me to hear." Naruto whispered and leaned over, letting his head rest against the chest of the man that was slowly dying. He didn't care – or act – like he was dying. He was acting like the Uchiha Itachi that he fell in love with.

**So any feedback because when I started typing this up I was listening to Better than I know myself so my mind would refresh on the ideas I have for this but it ended with Remedy by Little Boots. I'm also dedicating this chapter – even though she didn't know I was bi or if she supported it – to my great-aunt Irene. She passed away from Parkinson's Disease after suffering from it for many years. *cries***


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Itachi sighed, his back resting on the cushions of the chair that let him stare at what was the backyard. The temperature felt amazing to him and that was saying something when his circulation used to be poor. Smirking at the feeling, he looked up at the sky that was starting to darken with the west taking on a multitude of color glow. "Another day."

It was just another day that he was lucky enough to live. Another day that he got to live so he could understand why Sasuke did what he did. He still didn't understand it though. He wanted to but he couldn't.

Lowering his gaze to his lap, a sigh escaped the Uchiha. He had to get through Sasuke's journal and maybe get some comfort from his brother's suicide. He needed it like everyone else. He even hoped that it would have whoever did this to Sasuke in it so he could get the guy. No one deserved to die because of who they were.

When he caught the sound of someone walking to the door, the older man rose and walked into the house. He wasn't sure if it was Naruto's parents but there was always a chance that it was the two that he enjoyed to have around. Walking to the front door just in time to hear someone push the doorbell, Itachi let the smirk stay on his face as he opened the door.

"Itachi!" Kushina's scream could have made him deaf but he didn't focus on it like he was on the vice grip hug he was in. The auburn haired woman was grinning ear to ear almost as she hugged the oldest son of her best friend. As she pulled away, she heard him cough and gasp for the needed breath. "I squeezed a little too hard didn't I?"

"It looks like it." Minato said as he walked into the house that his youngest son owned. Kicking his shoes off and looking back, he stared at the glare that was focused on him. "Nani?"

"I wasn't asking for your opinion Minato." Kushina growled slightly and walked into the house. Kicking her shoes off, she looked back at the dying Uchiha and smiled. "I brought what you've been hungering for. Naruto said you were craving some."

"I always crave Namikaze-chan. I just don't tell Oka-san that you make it better then her because I don't want to hear it."

She chuckled and looked around for her son. When she didn't find him, she looked back at the sable eyed man that used corrective lenses. "Where's Naruto at?"

"Probably getting a shower. He said that work was more annoying then normal. Sai-san must have done something to piss him off." Itachi said as he pointed down the hallway to the bathroom. Walking down it, he turned down a smaller one and knocked on the door that was in front of him.

Naruto poked his head out, showing a slight sliver of chest as he stared up at his roommate. Blinking, he looked back at the clock that was in the room and cursed. "They're here!"

Itachi nodded and stared at the tan skin that was in front of him. Tearing his gaze from it, he stared into the azure eyes that were staring at him before widening and the door closing on him. Sighing, he walked to the dining room and took in the aroma of the food that Kushina made. He probably wouldn't stop craving it because she made it in a way that it tasted like heave to him.

"So how have you been Itachi-san? Mikoto-chan?" The Namikaze woman questioned as she looked over at Itachi as he sat down. Glancing at the timer, wishing that it would reheat faster, she saw that he looked tired. It had to be from his lungs. Walking over to him, she laid her hands on his shoulders and started to massage them. "Don't even argue because you need this."

Itachi knew better then to argue with the older woman. He saw her get mad plenty of times and he didn't want to be the person on the receiving end of that. Glancing up at her, he sighed and bowed his head as her hands worked on his spine, rubbing it into what might be goo to him. When he heard the door open and a squeak escape someone, he didn't look up like he should because the kneading felt so good to him.

"Um Oka-san what are you doing to Itachi-kun because I swear he looks like he's going to turn into a blob here in a second or so?" Naruto questioned as he raised an eyebrow at his roommate and pointed a finger at the Uchiha.

Itachi wanted it to continue so he did turn into a blob when it wasn't possible. When it did end, he whined and looked over at the woman that was friends with his mother. "You should be a massage therapist."

"I get that a lot but I think it's a little too late to do that. I even like my job." Kushina chimed with a smile as she walked over to the microwave and grabbed the food that she brought. Setting it down in front of them, she sat down herself and looked over at her staring son. "Where were you at?"

"Getting a shower because Sai decided to be a jackass today. I swear he's going to be fired one of these days by whoever runs that place."

"Umino Iruka." Itachi corrected since Naruto seemed to enjoy letting the steam roll out to him after he got home. Looking over at the blond that was flopping down at the table, he turned his attention to the food that was asking for it.

Grabbing a plate, he dug into the food that he was almost dying to have. Taking a bite, he smiled like he just got something that was worthwhile, he turned his attention to the auburn haired woman that was waiting for anything. "Delicious."

Kushina smiled and nodded as she grabbed her own share of the food. Looking over at Naruto, he looked like he was pouting. It just made her wonder what was going on in his mind but wasn't sure to ask. She didn't want to have her son do what Sasuke did but he was barely understandable. "So what happened at work?"

Raising an eyebrow at his mother's question, Naruto rose from his stupor and looked at everyone at the table. He really didn't want to talk about it but he seemed to always vent to Itachi when he got home. Sighing as he grabbed his own plate, Naruto shook his head. He had to get it out or he might get fired tomorrow. "Wonderful."

"Note the sarcasm." Itachi added, ignoring the stare that he got from the azure eyed man.

"Sai decided to not show up on time and when he did show up, he was talking about going to his stupid art classes. I swear he better find a new job or else I'm going to be ringing his neck." Naruto hissed and showed a piece of food into his mouth to shut himself up. Even as he chew, he was growling to himself as he contemplated his coworker's death.

Laughing lightly, Kushina knew that her son got her temper. He just rarely showed it. Taking a bite and chewing it, she wanted the silence to calm her youngest down but it didn't look like it was going to be possible. Sighing, she got up to go get something to drink and look at everyone. "Anyone else want something to drink?"

"Water." Naruto grumbled between bites. He just wanted to stuff his face and keep quiet so he didn't try to kill anyone at the table.

"Same here." Minato answered.

"Tea." Itachi replied with a small smile as he kept glancing at the blond. He had to do something about him or the mood was going to be ruined for the rest of the night. If that happened then he was going to get his hands on him. He didn't feel like listening to Kushina grumbling about her son's mood. There were a lot of things he didn't feel like listening about. He just wanted to find out who this person was that was his brother's boyfriend. The very first guy that his brother ever saw since he figured out that he was homosexual.

"So how is your mother Uchiha-san?" Kushina asked as she walked back into the room with the drinks. Setting them down and meeting Naruto's gaze, she saw the worry written in the sapphire eyes. Sighing, she sat down and took a bite of some of the food.

"Good I think. I haven't really talked to her in a while. I should call her tomorrow." Itachi muttered. Looking at the two parents that were in the room, a side of him wanted this to hurry just so he could get what he wanted to do done. "How about you guys? How are you doing?"

Kushina smiled lightly and looked over at Minato who was stuffing his face like his son. Shaking her head at the two that were almost identical in a lot of ways, she looked back at the Uchiha. "Good. We've been busy with our jobs but we're lucky enough to get everything done."

He nodded and went on eating. It was silent with a little chatting every now and then but it wasn't enough to keep everyone focused on it. He nodded when he was supposed to as he listened to Kushina talk about working odd jobs when she was pregnant with Kurama. It caused him to look over at Naruto, seeing the pain in the azure eyes. "Naruto-kun how was work besides putting up with Sai and his crap?"

"Fine." Naruto grumbled and handed his empty plate to his father. Looking at the Uchiha, feeling that ache that reminded him of the feelings he had for the Uchiha, he tried to smile. How could he be okay and fine when his day was basically ruined by his coworker? Sighing, he leaned back and stared at the plate of dessert that was set in front of him. "What's this?"

"Chocolate and peanut butter pie. I saw it at the store the other day and decided to bring it." Kushina replied with a smile.

Itachi didn't mind the pie, but he just wasn't in the mood for something sweet like the dessert was. He ate it anyway but it didn't hit the spot. It had to be that longing to find whoever the guy was.

When the two Namikaze left after saying their goodbyes to Itachi and Naruto, he almost bolted to the room he was given or the study. Grabbing the journal that belonged to his brother, he flipped to the page that said something about the other teen and started to go through the friends list that his brother had before he passed away.

"What are you doing Itachi?" Naruto questioned as he popped his head in before walking in. Looking at the screen, he glanced at the page and nodded. "His name is Shubaku Gaara. Nice guy I think. I can't remember much about him."

The sable eyed man nodded and went to the part of the list that had who the person he was looking for. Finding the picture, he clicked on it and stared at the picture. It didn't make any sense that his sibling would fall for someone that looked like he wanted to kill anyone if they got to close.

"So who was your first boyfriend?" Naruto wanted to know while some of him didn't. It made him curious since they were on the topic of firsts. He couldn't really remember his first boyfriend unless he wasn't really thinking hard enough. Work must have his brain fried.

"He was a year ahead of me. He was working on a business degree I think but I'm not sure. His name was Ame Pain. Really nice guy but he didn't think the relationship would work. That was when I met Kisame." Itachi answered with a shrug as he sent a message to Gaara to meet the guy.

The thought of meeting someone that knew who his brother really was, he wasn't sure what to do. It scared him a bit. Sighing, he looked over at Naruto who was sitting on the floor and looking around the room. "What about you? Who was your first boyfriend since you wanted to know about mine?"

Looking at the ceiling, the Namikaze stuck out his little a bit. "It was a guy in my grade named Kiba."

Itachi nodded. Now all he could do was wait for an answer from Shubaku. He just hoped that he was wanting to talk about the relationship he had with his brother.

**I didn't have a lot of things planned for this chapter. I might have a lot more planned for the next chapter. Please review.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

His sable eyes didn't leave the paper that he was holding, keeping it from turning. Whatever was going through in Sasuke's mind, in his life was on this piece of paper. He wished that he had been a better brother because he might have stopped his brother from taking his life. It didn't happen. His brother was gone because of what was going on in his life; what seemed to be too much to handle for a person at his age.

Sighing, Itachi closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Things that Sasuke did when he was growing up filled his mind, reminding him how much he loved his brother. When he opened his eyes, he met nothing but a white ceiling that went along with the color that was on the walls. "Sasuke."

He couldn't tease his brother anymore, or annoy him when he was depressed about something. He couldn't do a lot of things that he missed so much. Sighing, Itachi leaned up from where he was sitting and glanced at the bound paper that made up the journal he gave his only sibling.

_Dear Journal (that definitely sounds better),_

_So we went on our first date. Of course I lied to my parents about it because I wasn't sure how they would react. I just said I was going out with a friend because he was going through a breakup and they actually bought it. Nii-san was nowhere to be seen and I didn't even bother asking where he was. He was probably busy with whatever he wanted to do._

He barely remembered that day. He was hanging out with his own friends, enjoying the sun. He remembered being teased by them because he was so pale but that changed when he started to get burnt by the sun's rays.

"Itachi what are you doing?" Naruto's question made the Uchiha snap his head up to stare at the door where the blond stood. He smiled at his friend before walking into the room and sitting down on the side of the bed, staring at the journal that Sasuke wrote his thoughts in. "The next few don't really talk about anything. He's just complaining about schooling and tests."

"How many?" Itachi asked as he went to flip the paper, holding where he was and saw that his friend was right.

"I think three. I'm not sure. Then again, I'm a little brain dead from putting up with Sai and him complaining about him being rejected by the model he was working with. I swear he needs to get a life." Naruto replied unsure of himself, tapping his chin in thought. Shrugging, he looked at the papers. He wasn't going to tell his friend and object of his affections that after those three, the date skipped a head four months.

He didn't know why Sasuke didn't write in it for those four months and he couldn't ask him. Biting the inside of his cheek, Naruto met the sable eyes that were focused on him but he didn't know it. Forcing a smile onto his lips, he leaned in for a quick kiss but he wanted more. He couldn't do more except kiss and hold the Uchiha because of his lungs.

"Okay. I'll still read them though."

Naruto nodded and got up. Looking back at the dark-haired man that was looking at the journal, he lowered his gaze. He just wished that he knew what was going on with his brother figure before it was too late. He regretted not being there for Sasuke and now everyone was paying the price. "Don't forget you have to meet up with him later on."

"I know. Thanks for the reminder." Itachi said and watched the younger man walk out of the room. Turning his attention back to the book, he wasn't sure how many more entries he had. He prayed that there was still a lot because if it ended so suddenly then he wouldn't be able to stand it.

_It was a nice date to say the least. It was my first and I was anxious but I didn't show it. I'm glad I did because Gaara was kinda fun to be around. He just dressed and did what he did because he didn't care for his father and his father hated it when he acted like that. Deep down he was a sweet guy that enjoyed planting cacti and a lot of other things._

_I found out he had two older siblings that were like mother and father hen on him when their father was absent which was a frequent thing. He envied me when I said my father came home every night, along with my mother. I didn't know that he lost his mother when he was born. I felt pity because I wouldn't be able to stand not having my mother in my life._

_After the date, we walked around in the park and talked. Luckily it was a nice day and we didn't have to go around or trying to stay in the shade. I started to crack up for some reason – I remember it now. Gaara asked what was so funny and I told him that it would be hilarious to see Sakura and Ino's faces when I told them I was gay. _

_He joined in after that even if he didn't know who I was talking about. I just hope that I get to see him again. And when the time came when I come out of the closet, I can be free like in the movie Bobby's Prayer. He told me about it because he had a habit of watching foreign movies. It had the science fiction queen Weaver something, I can't remember her first name. I just prayed that my parents didn't have to go through the pain of me doing what he did._

But they did. They had to wake up harshly and violently because of his death that shouldn't have happened. Itachi closed the book after reading the next entry. Naruto was right. It was about Sasuke complaining about school.

Sighing, the Uchiha set the book on the night stand and got up out of the comfortable bed. He had to meet up with Gaara soon which was a great thing. He would get more insight on what was going on in his brother's life.

Lowering his gaze, the older Uchiha walked out of the room and saw Naruto watching a movie while he was curled up with a fox plushie. Shaking his head at the blond, he leaned over and tried to take the stuff animal.

"Let go of Mister Foxy." Naruto whined and hugged the inanimate object closer to his body. Glaring up at the Uchiha, he tried not to smile but it was hard not to. It was Itachi after all. The same guy that he still loved after all these years. "He's mine."

"I remember when Sasuke got him for ya. I was the one that helped him pick it out because he wasn't sure what to get you. Which birthday was that anyway?"

"My ninth I think." Naruto answered with a smile as he continued to hug the plushie close to him. Watching Itachi walk around and bend down, he wasn't sure what the Uchiha had planned. Blinking, he stared into the onyx eyes before closing his as a kiss was placed on his lips.

It felt so good to be close to the Uchiha that was related to his brother figure. It wasn't the only thing that he loved about Itachi. Taking a breath and breaking away, he smiled. There were a lot of things that he loved about the older Uchiha brother. The way he stood up for what he believed in, the way he worked hard, and a lot of other things that he wasn't sure about yet.

"Be careful." Naruto insisted before pressing his lips against the pale nose. Leaning back, he smiled at the pink tint that started to color the pale face and shoved his fox plushie in Itachi's face.

"I will." Itachi said into the plushie before it was pulled away. Getting up, he wasn't sure what was going on. He didn't think he would be in love because of his dying lungs. He shouldn't love someone because all it would do is make someone hurt when he was gone. Biting his lip as he slipped on his sandals, the older man left the house and started to the park.

Naruto was supposed to be a friend, which was all. They leaned on each other when Sasuke committed suicide. They grew closer because of the disaster that wasn't supposed to happen. But now he was starting to rethink the way he felt toward the blond. His heart felt like it was aching when he was around or thought of the blond. It wasn't like that before. Lowering his gaze as he thought about it, Itachi knew what was going on.

He shouldn't be – but was – falling in love with the Namikaze. He didn't want to cause him heartache because of him dying if he didn't survive what was going on with his lungs. If he was lucky enough to get a lung transplant and his body accept them, then he would be happy. He would be able to do things that he hasn't been able to do for the longest time but he'll be able to do them with Naruto.

The thought of it made a smile stretch his pale lips as he walked into the park. He didn't realize that all the thinking took up all the time while he was walking. It was a good thing because he needed to think. Now he just had to wait for the teen – at the time – that was seeing his brother. He just hoped that he recognized him.

He didn't want to make a fool out of himself if he approached someone and they wasn't the person he was waiting for. He hated that feeling of being embarrassed because he did something that might be funny to others. Sighing, he looked around the park and closed his eyes.

"_Hey Nii-san what are you going to get Dobe for his birthday?" _Sasuke's voice came floating into his subconscious, making him remember the day before the blond's birthday.

He just shrugged that day because he didn't know the blond well then. That changed but he smiled at the thought. _"I don't know. What did you get him?"_

"_This!"_ He remembered that his sibling shoved a book in his face. It was a gardening book, making him raise an eyebrow. From what he knew of Naruto at the time, he didn't know that the Namikaze liked to plant things.

"_Are you sure he's going to like that?"_

Sasuke just glared at him, making him raise an eyebrow a little higher. _"Of course! He's part of the gardening club so I know he likes gardening. He can't hide anything from me."_

Itachi knew that the blond could if he tried hard enough. He did. He hid a lot of things that Sasuke didn't know the Namikaze liked to do but he learned about after his brother's unexpected passing. Opening his eyes, he blinked to clear his gaze and looked around. People probably thought he was napping or something but it was nothing like that.

"You must be Uchiha-san?" A male voice entered his ears, making him turn to see the auburn haired man staring at him. He hadn't really changed from when he was a teenager.

Nodding, he stood up and bowed slightly. "Yes. You must be Shubaku-san. I haven't really heard a lot about you from my brother."

Gaara slightly glared at the mentioned of his ex. He had no hard feelings toward the Uchiha, he just hated it when someone brought him up. Nodding, he sat down beside the man with a sigh. He couldn't let his temper get to him because he was meeting with someone that had connections to his ex but he wanted to. He wanted to know why he wanted to talk to him about Sasuke.

"How are you Shubaku-san?"

Glaring ahead of him, hoping the eyeliner didn't betray the glare, he sighed. "Fine. Yourself?"

Itachi wanted to get to business and get it out there as to why he contacted Gaara. He couldn't do that to a stranger, someone that knew his sibling better then he did. He wanted to ask so many questions that it might take all night to get them answered and by then this guy might want to shut him up with something.

"How is Sasuke doing?" Gaara asked quietly as his gaze followed a couple that was a good distance away but were still visible to him. Looking away from them and to the Uchiha, he noticed something but couldn't put a finger on what it was.

Itachi sighed, feeling the pain in his heart at the mentioning of his only brother that he had. Biting the inside of his cheek to keep the emotions in check when they wanted to spill out and make him babble to the other man, he sighed once more. "Sasuke's gone."

"Where did he move to?" Gaara questioned as he looked at the other man with his eyes focusing for anything that he might try to hide from him.

He needed to know the truth, Itachi knew that. Gaara deserved to know the truth because he was part of Sasuke's life, a part of life that he never had a part in because of how scared his sibling was. Taking a needed breath, the Uchiha looked up at the tree that was providing enough shade to cool them down and sighed.

"Where —"

"He committed suicide ten years ago because someone tormented him. All of it was because of his sexuality." Itachi answered and let his gaze fall to his lap. He wanted to cry again. Every time he thought of his siblings passing he wanted to cry out and ask why he couldn't have his brother with him today. He couldn't ask the gods about it because no one would be able to answer that question.

He didn't want to believe it. Sasuke wasn't that type of person and he knew that. Then there was the chance that he only scratched the surface of his ex when they were together. Gaping at him, which was unlike him, he felt his eyebrows connect in frustration and other emotions. "That doesn't sound like the Sasuke-kun that I know."

"He did Gaara-san. He killed himself because he was bullied. The brother that I had, the one that didn't let things get to him killed himself because this did." Itachi hissed as he thought. He wanted to give that guy that tormented his brother to death a piece of his mind, or even take his own life since he saw it was fair.

Shaking his head, he knew this wasn't right about him. He never thought of taking someone's life. Running a hand across his face after taking his glasses of, Itachi sighed. He would never do that because he didn't want to cause his parents any more heartbreak. He didn't want to see them crying silently because of a stupid mistake.

He could only nod slowly as he took in the news of the tragic passing. "So why did you get a hold of me Uchiha-san?"

"I want to know what my brother was like when you two were together. In a way I'm trying to make it up to him because he never really included me in the group of people that knew he was gay. Also, to bring some peace and maybe caught that person that tormented him to the point of doing what he did." Itachi answered as he looked over at the red head that was nodding slowly.

"I'll help you but I don't know how much I can help with. It's been a long time since we went out."

"I know this. Just give me what you know and I'll be happy with that."

Gaara nodded and smiled slightly.

**I hate taking breaks from writing! *tries to pull hair out* I hope you like this because I had some wrote before I took a break and then my muses disappeared for vacation. Now some of them are back and they demanded to write in this. *sighs* I'm waiting for them to pull out a gun and hold it to my head. Please review.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Itachi looked around, his voice gone. He wanted to say something – to start the conversation – but it was like he was born mute. How could he be so calm knowing that knew his brother for who he was that Sasuke was gone? How could he be calm that this person's ex-boyfriend committed suicide ten years ago?

It was hard. He couldn't even look Gaara in the eye because of it. Sighing softly and leaning back against the bench, he looked at the people that were going on with their own business. How come he couldn't have a normal life? A life that actually didn't include so much drama that he felt like he was drowning in it at times.

"It still doesn't sound like Sasuke." Gaara finally asked, breaking the silence that was between them. Looking over at the older Uchiha, seeing something but wasn't sure what it was, he narrowed his eyes a bit.

"You can ask Naruto if you want, or our parents. They'll tell you the same thing." Itachi stated softly, almost expecting the slight breeze to take his voice away. It didn't though. He wasn't sure why he sounded so confident in those words when he felt like the barriers he built up over the years were crumbling right in front of him.

Nodding a little, Gaara turned his gaze away from the older man. This person knew Sasuke better then he did because he grew up with his ex. He wanted answers as to why his friend, boyfriend would do something like that when it wasn't in his nature to think something like that. It made him feel numb, almost as if he was talking about someone that had the same name as the person he knew but it wasn't who he was meaning.

"You're his brother or what?"

"I'm his brother yes. Why?" Itachi questioned as he looked over at the auburn haired man that was beside him. It was hard to believe that his sibling actually went out with someone and hid it so well. He couldn't do that but with the way people called him a genius didn't help the matter either.

"In a way you look like him." Gaara replied and turning his attention back to the man. Lowering his gaze to his lap, he sighed and got up with a stretch. "I have to go. Work. Another time Uchiha-san?"

"Yes." He nodded and stood up himself. Shaking the man's hand, he smiled a little and turned in the opposite direction of the auburn haired man that looked like he was punk or trying to reach out. He wasn't sure, but he couldn't tell when his brother was reaching out.

Cursing himself mentally at for not looking at the signs when they might have been right in front of him, he ran a hand through his bangs. Wincing at a knot that made him tug, he closed his eyes. What was the matter with him? What kind of brother was he?

A pathetic one. That answer was clear. He wasn't there for Sasuke when he needed someone to talk to. He wasn't there to protect his younger sibling like an older one was supposed to.

Opening his eyes, he started his walk back down the path that he traveled to get here. It felt good to walk; giving the Uchiha time to think things through. He had a lot to think through but didn't know it until now.

First he was trying to make sense and possibly find the person responsible of his brother's death. It would give him a little comfort but not enough to make him feel like Sasuke was at peace. Second, he was falling in love with Namikaze Naruto. They were just supposed to be friends helping each other but his feelings were turning into more. He wasn't sure if Naruto felt the same way but he wasn't going to bring the awkward topic up yet. Then there's the fact that he was dying from a disease that attacked his lungs.

Sighing with a hint of a wheeze to his breath, he lowered his gaze to the worn path that stood out from the green grass that made the boarder. Looking up to the sky and trees that towered over him, making him feel small in the process, he wondered what Sasuke was doing. He was probably walking or enjoying his favorite food without their parents yelling at him to slow down.

Letting his shoulders fall, he felt something hit him, making him apologize automatically. It was something that was automatic for him, being taught that manners were important. That was another thing that made him and Sasuke different. Sasuke didn't care about them, he even left off the honorifics and it annoyed a lot of people. Him, he kept the manners going because it got him to a lot of places. A place on the class council, along with others.

Looking at the person that he bumped into, he knew that this person seemed to avoid the sun at all costs. His skin was paler then his and it made him wonder if this person was deathly sick or actually tried to stay out of the sun because of unknown reasons. His eyes and hair were as black as night, much like his but shorter.

"Gomensai." He bowed slightly, showing the apology actually meant something instead of just a word like some did.

An eyebrow rose at the word, the thin line that was his mouth staying still. "It's quite alright. We weren't looking where we were going." He let a small smile grace his features as he took in the other male that was standing a few feet away.

Nodding and walking around him, intent on getting home to take the medication prescribed to him, he swore he felt like he knew the person from somewhere. It was that case of deja vu. Scratching his head, messing up some of his hair in the process, he continued to ponder it.

Blinking, he let the smile grace his face a little more. "Aren't you Uchiha Itachi?!"

Stopping his stride and turning his head to look back at the person, confusion started to set in. How did this person know him? He didn't even know the person. Did he? He looked familiar in someway but it just wasn't clicking.

Taking a breath, hearing it come out as a wheeze, Itachi knew that he had to do something. He didn't want to be rude to this person and come off as a jerk but medicine was one of his top priorities now. "Why do you ask?!"

Smiling to himself, he walked over to the older man and let the smile fall. It wasn't like him to smile unless he was in the studio and actually enjoying his time. Now, he wasn't enjoying his time because it was keeping him from the thing he loved doing. "You know a Namikaze Naruto right?"

Raising an eyebrow, knowing that he should be walking instead of chitchatting, he narrowed his eyes a bit. Since his sibling's death, he became a little guarded because he knew that people liked to hide their true selves from others. Nodding slowly, he kept his gaze focused on the person, waiting for any sign that this person was up to ill intent.

"Good. I'm Sai. I work with him at the office." He offered his hand with a small smile still settled on his lips. Looking at the man that was a little paler from the pictures that were on his coworker's desk, he wondered what the matter was. He wasn't going to ask even if his curiosity was getting to him. He was going to appear polite to this person that his coworker seemed to rant about at times.

It made him sick but he was going to keep that feeling to himself. On the inside he was narrowing his eyes, fists ready to punch the blond's mouth to shut him up. He wanted to scream at him, call him a homo, anything, to show that he detested homosexuality.

But here he was keeping a smile on his face, trying to appear friendly to this person.

Itachi felt a roll of disgust in his stomach at the name that Naruto complained about. Seeing this person for real, he swore he wanted to do something but wasn't sure what. Sucking on the inside of his cheek, trying to appear calm when he felt every nerve itch at the possibility that he might actually get into a yelling match.

It was unheard of for him to do something like that. It was completely out of character for him but when it came to protecting the ones that he cherished he would do anything. Putting on a kind smile, leaving it there, he didn't shake the person's hand. He just nodded. "It's nice to meet you Sai. Naruto-kun told me a lot about you. He told me that you are interested in the arts."

He gave a short nod, wishing that the blond didn't get into his business but it can't be helped. As long as he continued to give him work that he was supposed to sign, letting him have free time, then it didn't matter. He was going to put that blond through hell and back for being the way he was.

"Yes I am. I'm actually surprised that idiot can remember something. I can't count how many times he had to do something over again because he forgot to do something. It's quite pathetic." He let a little venom into his tone, letting a hint of how he felt toward the Namikaze out toward the Uchiha.

Narrowing his eyes at the insults that were being thrown at him, telling him that the person that opened his home to him wasn't doing his job, made his nerve jump in anticipation. It was like the part of him that was the complete opposite of him – his yang side – was ready to punch this guy in the face. He wanted to but the condition he was in wasn't going to allow him to do such actions that might throw him back in the hospital.

"Naruto isn't like that. He's the hardworking type of person unlike some out there that's taking benefits that others do need." He hissed back, letting his own malice out into the open.

Smirking, he laughed softly and to himself. "He's worthless. He should be fired."

His hands automatically balled into fists; a form of relaxation. He had a little problem of squeezing his hands until his nails dug into his skin and make him bleed at times. He wasn't sure if there were scars but he wasn't going to look at that moment. The only thing that mattered was this person insulting his friend and infatuation.

"No comeback. Nothing? That's kinda surprising coming from someone that lost his brother to something. I forget what it is but I heard Naruto cry about it."

Taking a sharp breath, pushing Sai into a tree, he glared at the person. No one was going to get away with insulting someone that was so kind hearted; someone that was willing to do something for someone else. He knew Naruto was willing to give the shirt off his back to someone that was homeless if it made the world a better place. He knew that blond better then anyone else – besides his parents.

He wasn't going to let anyone try to make it sound like the Namikaze was a lazy bum that wasn't working his weight at the job he had. No one was going to talk down about someone that was willing to stay late to get something done or help someone that was struggling at what they were assigned.

"Never! And I mean never Sai! Never talk about Namikaze Naruto like you know him since you two were kids because you don't. If I find out that you say anything that will hurt Naruto's feelings or his image that he worked so hard to build then I will find you. When I do, I will harm you so bad that you'll be the one in the hospital." The Uchiha threatened with narrowed eyes, his hand shaking at his side.

He smiled at the side that Naruto possibly didn't know about. He liked seeing the feisty side of people because it meant they actually were alive. Grabbing hold of the man's shirt, holding him close and narrowing his own coal black eyes, he continued to let the smile linger as he spoke, "Naruto is pathetic. Get it through your thick head Uchiha Itachi. You'll realize it soon enough. When you do, I pray that it isn't too late."

"He isn't —" he cut himself off, feeling the pain echo in his lungs only to travel up into his mouth. Letting go of his shirt and covering his mouth, covering the coughs that were spilling out of him, he knew he overworked himself. It wasn't a good thing because he didn't want to burden anyone or make them worry.

Keeping his gaze on the person that was really a fiend in disguise, he backed away. It wasn't over. He knew that along with this person that was on his enemy list. He wanted to keep going but his health was more important then trying to knock some sense into someone.

"It's far from over Sai." He muttered to himself and started home, hoping that the sable haired man wasn't the type of person that would attack someone with their back turned. It was even more cowardly to attack someone that was ill to begin with but he started it when he started to diss Naruto.

He continued to smile at the ill person. He was going to continue to attack Naruto no matter what. If it caused this person to get into a hacking fit then he'll continue every time he saw him. It was a good idea.

**Okay, I haven't really worked in this in ages because I've been in a writer's block and I've been trying to get over it by Rping with some of the most awesome people in the world! XD so I thank them for helping me get over it little by little. Please review. Also, I hope you liked Sai's character.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Coming home was one of the most welcome times for him. It meant that he could relax, try to forget Sai, and what he had said about Naruto. It still had his nerves rattled over it and it annoyed him deeply. Sitting down with his pills in one hand, a glass of water in the other, he stared at the empty room that was usually bustling with the blond.

Looking around, listening in as he downed the medication, he heard nothing. It was silent. It was unlike the other man to be silent, even when he slept he was making noises because of something. He wasn't going to tell him that he talked in his sleep – even if it was mostly about ramen – but he thought it was cute.

Sighing and leaning back, he missed being near that blond Namikaze because he brightened his day a little more then it was. It had to be with his personality or something that he couldn't put his finger on. Closing his eyes as he laid his head back, Itachi thought back a little more toward Sasuke and Naruto when his sibling was alive.

_"Nii-san!" Sasuke's voice was squeaking because he was going through adolescents at the time. He still thought it was funny how his voice sounded and joked around with Sasuke about it._

_ Looking away from what he was doing, which was a report on the second world war, he stared at the younger Uchiha that was getting to be his height. "What Sasuke?"_

_ "Dobe wants to show you something. Said it was important but knowing him it really isn't." The younger brother grumbled slightly as he watched his relation get up from where he sat and led him to the backyard where their mother's flowers were._

_ He didn't understand why the woman liked the flowers even to the point she made it into a traditional Japanese garden with the bamboo objects that decorated it. He liked it because he felt calm when he walked through it when he wanted to forget about something._

_ He spotted the blond hair that reminded him of a sunflower with how bright it was in the sunlight. He was bent over doing something but wasn't sure what was going on as he walked closer. "Naruto-kun what are you doing?"_

_ Perking up and smiling at the two, he laughed. "I thought your mother would like this in her garden."_

_ His finger pointed to the sapling that was just put in the ground. He smiled at the tree and patted the dirt one last time and grabbed a watering can, sprinkling water down onto it. Setting down the object filled with water, he wiped his hands on his pants and looked at the two Uchiha that was watching him._

_ "What kind of tree is it Dobe?"_

_ "A Japanese maple." He grinned. "It's my present for her."_

Opening his eyes at the memory, reminding how tall the tree had gotten by now. It definitely belonged in that garden and his mother enjoyed reading under it. He never really saw her as happy as she was when she was under the tree. It was like she thought of Sasuke and the memories she had of her youngest son as she sat under the tree on the swing or at the base of it.

Picking himself up as he continued to think of the depressed woman, he walked over and slipped on his sandals again. Closing and locking the door, he walked down the steps, taking his time. He wasn't going to push himself again because of how much he dreaded going to the hospital and how Tsunade liked the lecture him about his poor health. There were times he felt like shoving something into her mouth to shut her up for a little bit, which might piss her off a little more.

Walking down the sidewalk, glancing around and taking in his surroundings, he brushed back his bangs to get a little better look so they wouldn't block his sight. It was crowded but he was so used to it. Being in the country was like being in a foreign country to him with how rare he went out to the open air and land.

The thought of being in a foreign country drew his thoughts to Kisame. He wondered how the artist was settling in over there but wasn't going to call at the moment because of the time different between where they were. Stopping at a corner, waiting for the little man change from red to green, he pulled out his phone. Sending a quick text to Kisame, knowing it won't piss him off as much as it would if he called, he stared at the little sign that would indicate when to walk.

Feeling his electronic vibrate in his hand, he glanced down, seeing his ex-lover's name on the screen with the envelope opening repeatedly. Opening it, he read the text and smiled. As long as he was doing well was all that mattered to him. Sure he would be jealous of the next man that his ex chose but he wanted that man to be happy no matter what. He felt that way to all his past relations.

He felt that way toward Sasuke's too.

The thought of his deceased sibling dimmed his thoughts again. Stopping his stride and standing outside the gate that lead into the cemetery that he wanted to be in, he stared at the wrought iron. Pushing it open and closing it once he was inside, he walked around, taking in the deceased peoples' names. He didn't know their story.

He stopped at a name that was new. The dirt that covered the ashes filled box was fresh, telling him that they were recently buried. Putting his hands together in prayer, he sent a quick one for the person's journey to the other side. "May you rest in peace."

Walking around, he caught sight of Sasuke's grave site. He wanted to be close to his sibling that he barely knew. He thought he knew him so well but he was wrong and that journal showed it. He wished that he wasn't shown he was wrong but he was also glad that he was.

Stopping and kneeling in front of the tombstone, he stared at the etching that was done by a laser written into the rock. Touching it softly, as if he was touching his brother's hair, smiling, he closed his eyes.

"Sasuke. Why? Why didn't you tell me? I would have been there for you. You know that but yet you didn't reach out. Why did you hide the fact that you were gay? I want to understand but I can't." He felt like he was babbling but he wanted it out of his system. He wanted to scream out in frustration at the fact that his brother knew he was willing to help but kept his problems to himself.

Running the palm of his hands across his cheeks, wiping away the tears that were falling, Itachi stared at the blurred rock. Looking up at the sky, wishing that it was raining like the day when Kisame showed up, he curled up into a ball like he was a small child.

"Sasuke. Why?" He questioned repeatedly, listening to his own voice. He wanted an answer but it was never going to come. Biting his lip to silence himself, the Uchiha closed his eyes to keep them from hurting so much.

"I figured you were going to be here."

Looking over with his eyes widening as he opened them, he took in the blond hair that was spiked. No smile was on his face like usually as his arms held a bouquet of flowers. He took in the sorrow and pain in the azure eyes that were focused on him, standing out against the slightly tanned skin.

"Naruto."

He nodded and set the flowers in front of the tombstone. Sitting down and looking at the rock, he sighed softly. What was he going to do? He knew that Itachi was hurting from Sasuke's suicide, hell there was a lot of people hurting because of it. Biting his lip as he sniffled, he looked over at the Uchiha beside him.

"You really miss him don't you?" He asked softly. If he used a louder voice, he wasn't sure what would happen. Closing his eyes and leaning against the Uchiha that straightened at the touch, he didn't back away and ask why he did what he did.

"Yes. I really do. He was that light in the world. I looked forward to coming home after school because of him." Itachi stated softly as he wiped at the tears that were silently falling. Taking his glasses off and setting them on his lap, he continued to wipe.

"We can't change the past."

He nodded.

Naruto chewed on his lip as he opened his eyes and stared at the block of rock that marked where his friend was buried. The silence was welcome; it let him think about a lot of things. Sasuke was the biggest topic out of the rambling in his mind.

"He loved you." Itachi announced as he looked at the blob of blond that was in his face.

Shaking out of his thoughts, Naruto looked up at Itachi and blinked in confusion. What the hell was he talking about? Was this one of the effects of his medicine? Rambling nonsense? Shaking his head, he didn't believe it.

"No, he didn't. We were just friends and that —"

"No. Sasuke loved you Naruto. He wanted you. He loved you as a crush, not as a friend." Itachi stated bluntly as he watched the Namikaze as he stared at the stone. He didn't want to believe it at first but when he dug around in his sibling's things that were packed away because most of it was important to his parents. His clothes were given to charity but some of the belongings couldn't be given away.

A book stood out from the rest. He flipped through it and it was like a novel with the way it was written. He just sat there reading in the clutter that was his sibling's belonging. He knew what was really going on with Sasuke and how he felt before he committed suicide. He could almost picture what was going on in the pages as he read it.

"How the hell do you know this Itachi? Tell me that. I want to know how the hell you would know that when he's dead." His voice raised without warning but he couldn't push it down. His frustrations were acting up, letting him show a little pain that he had stored in his own body.

It didn't make any sense to the Namikaze that was staring at the Uchiha in disbelief. Shaking his head, he didn't want to believe any of that. Sasuke never said anything and he was open about that.

"The next time I go to my parents, I want you to come along and I'll show you." Itachi said simply as he watched the blond as he glared at him. It didn't matter. He just wanted the blond, which sounded selfish to him.

"I don't care about what Sasuke thought. I know this sounds mean but he isn't here anymore. I can't love a dead person like the way I want to love someone. You, I can make love to you. I can do everything that a couple can do because you're here."

"For who knows how long. That's the thing." Itachi added as he looked back at the tombstone. He didn't want to dwell on something that was so negative. It was possible and he didn't want to think about that.

"Don't say that Itachi. You don't know that like I don't know." Naruto slightly pleaded for him to shut up about the thoughts that was possible. Getting up, and sitting down on the Uchiha's lap, causing him to fall onto his rump, he smiled a little and rested his forehead against his. "Never say something that might not happen. Don't think about it. Live in the moment."

Live in the moment? He never really done that. It sounded like a good idea but wasn't sure if he can do that. It seemed out of character for him. He never lived in the moment, he just let time flow around him, along with the excitement.

Staring into the azure eyes that were focused on him, he wasn't sure if he could do that. Lowering his gaze until his eyes finally fell close, Itachi sighed softly. "I can't. Naruto I can't. I can't do what you want. Make love? That's out of the question because of these damn lungs."

"I don't care. There's more ways to make love then just the way you're thinking." He grinned. Kissing him softly as his arms wrapped around his neck, he held the Uchiha closer to him then usual.

He was scared he was going to lose Itachi to the disease he has. He didn't want to lose another friend because of something but there was a chance that he might. If Itachi didn't get that transplant and his body accepts the lungs, then he wasn't sure what to do. He might become lost in the world or become like Mikoto.

He shivered at the thought as he nipped at the man's lip, wanting him to respond to the advances he was giving.

Groaning at the emotions he was feeling because it's been so long since he last felt them, he opened his eyes to look at the younger man. Reaching up and running his fingers through the soft blond hair that was gelled, he smiled at the kisses. Kissing him back, he felt that desperate need that the Namikaze was feeling, making him feel a little more alive.

He missed that feeling of being alive. He missed being able to pleasure the person he loved. He missed everything that made someone alive and he was finally feeling it again. It felt like a burden was lift off his shoulders. Sighing at the kisses, Itachi cupped the scarred cheek and smiled. "Naruto."

"Hm?"

"I know you hate this but I might not have much time left. What then? I don't want you to feel like I gave up on you or whatever you're going to feel." Itachi whispered, staring into the azure eyes that were watching him. He wanted to know how the other person was going to feel if he did die but he already knew how he was going to feel.

"I don't care because that isn't here, is it? Right now you're here with me and that's all that matters." Naruto sighed and looked back at the tombstone. Laughing a little, he looked back at Itachi. "You know something if Sasuke is watching us right now, I think we would have been struck by lightning for doing this on his grave."

"He'll get over it sooner or later." Laughing, he took a breath, feeling it a little easier to breathe but it was because of the medication that was prescribed to him. He wished it was because that his infatuation was so hopeful that he was going to get better but that wasn't the case.

Kissing him gently, feeling that desire to pull him closer and show him how much he loved him, the Uchiha smiled, wrapping his arms around the other man. "Naruto."

"What is it Itachi-kun?" Naruto replied softly with a question as he looked at the Uchiha that was holding him closely.

"I love you. I love you so much that the world can't contain it." He sounded sappy to himself but it was the only way he can let it out.

Laughing, pressing a kiss to the older man's nose, he looked into the coal-black eyes that were watching him. "I love you too. Now that that's out, let's make the most of the time we have left. I know a few spots we can go see. I got plenty of vacation time saved up and Sai can do his job for once."

His mood darkened at the thought of the other ebony haired man that was talking down about the blond that was so bubbly and willing to do anything to help someone. He hated him. He wasn't going to tell Naruto what happened until he was on his deathbed. He prayed that it wasn't soon but he wasn't sure what was going to happen.

"That sounds like fun, Naru-chan."

"Hey! I'm not a girl!"

**Yes I made Itachi into a sappy person but I think he would be if he was going to confess his feelings to the person he loved. Some of this wasn't planned but I like it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to support this until the very end. Please review.**


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